Dan Howell
I skipped the first period today, art, as I was busy making this stupid fucking project for drama. I stare at the green folder in my hand, flipping across the pages full of smudged handwriting and lies because of course Phil and I had not visited any places, I just had to google irrelevant amount of shit and make this.
I vaguely remember the teacher mentioning that we need to put in photos and I had asked Craig to send me a picture of his dog so that it looks like we actually went to the animal centre. I still need a picture with Phil to put in it, and I have no interest in walking up to him and asking for one but I have no other option. I already made all of this idiotic project and the least he could do is take a damn picture with me.
I am late when I walk into literature and look at Phil sitting in his original place, next to PJ, a small smile on his lips. He doesn't even turn to look at me when I enter the class or when I apologise for coming late.
Seems like he's really trying hard.
The hour goes by infuriatingly, as among all the soft chatter in the class, all I can hear is Phil giggling quietly at something that PJ said, and an occasional, "shut up PJ, you'll get us kicked out."
It annoys me that what happened yesterday doesn't even bother him while I am here, struggling to focus in class, because all on my mind are his stupid fucking lips, and his stupid fucking smile and his stupid fucking eyes.
Fucking Phil Lester.
It's lunch after this period so hopefully I can grow a pair and ask him to take a picture with me, as drama is next and I will have to go to the computer room to get a print out. I stare at the large wall clock in the room, which seems to be moving painfully slow and there are now another annoying five minutes before I can get over with this.
I tap my pencil impatiently on my notebook trying to come with a way to start the conversation. What the hell should I even say to him? Suddenly the five minutes seem too less because I have no idea how to approach him and so as the bell goes off, and people start filing out of the class I just patiently watch Phil collecting his stuff, laughing at something PJ said.
Hesitantly, I get off my desk and walk over to theirs. PJ is the first one to look up and give me a small smile, and Phil keeps his head down, stuffing his books messily into his bag.
"Phil?" My voice has dropped several octaves and is almost inaudible. I can't possibly have a normal discussion with Phil, especially after yesterday.
He doesn't reply, just as I expected and PJ just gives me a look that is a mix between apologetic and confused, and I just close my eyes in frustration, biting my lip.
"Phil?" I say again, louder this time but now he just stands up and begins to make his way out of the class hurriedly, not bothering to even take PJ with him. PJ sits dumbfounded in his seat as I follow Phil out of the class, taking fast steps to catch up with him.
My fingers are shaking when I grip his arm lightly to stop him from walking, and I feel his entire body go rigid under my touch. A deep sigh leaves his mouth and he bites his lip harshly before tugging his arm away.
"Dan please leave me alone," His voice is strained and soft and fuck if it doesn't break my heart.
"I-I just wanted–" Before I can finish he is walking again and I run a hand through my hair, annoyed at his actions. I did the whole fucking project and I am not, not turning it in just because Phil won't take a picture with me.
"Phil for god's sake just listen to me for a second!" My voice is suddenly louder and a few people turn their heads to look at us as Phil stops in his tracks and for the first time that day, turns around and makes eye contact with me. He is still biting his lip, hands fidgeting at his sides and I slowly and awkwardly make my way to him, contemplating if I should grab his arm or not, before I just cuss under my breath and reach forward to pull his arm.
"Please I just–about the project I um, did it I guess? I, um, I just need a picture with you if that's okay because I need to stick it in the journal," I explain quickly and he just stares at me with wide eyes, his teeth releasing his bottom lip and fuck if I don't want to lean forward and grab it between mine.
"Y-You did the project?" Phil stutters a bit, looking shocked with my actions and to be very honest, I am shocked too. I have no idea why I stayed up all night making this shit but I just did.
"Well yeah," I let go of his hand, now that he isn't running away and he smooths his fringe, his cheeks flushed before speaking again.
"Okay well, um, where do you want to take the picture?" He asks.
"Um, how about um, near the old library because there aren't many people there?" I scratch the back of my head nervously, and his lips part to say something in protest before he just gives in, following me out of the building.
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WTF ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I UPDATED THIS SORRY
