Undercover (l.t.)

Chapter Sixteen

His kiss still lingered on my lips. Why did he kiss me? He hated me so why would he kiss me?

The worst part was that I gave into it. I kissed him back like I have always wanted to- deep deep inside- when I was bullied by him.

Did he want the same thing too? Was that why he abused me because he didn't know how to express his feelings? No he hated me and he still hates me. That kiss was nothing. It didn't mean anything. I could never fall in love with the boy that bullied me for 13 years. Maybe friends but definitely not lovers.

Suddenly I felt very filthy and felt like I had to brush my teeth 50 times to get that taste out. I ran up the stairs and bumped into Zayn on the way.

"Oh El. What did Louis want?" He was still very mad.

"He j-just um." God why was I stuttering? I was acting like a school girl who got nervous every time she heard a boys name.

"What's wrong?" Zayn asked. Well shit.

"Nothing. He just said Simon called saying we have to go to his office."

"Why are you so scared?"

"Because I have to go too. What if I did something wrong?" A simple yet effective lie.

Zayn smiled. "Don't worry. If we're meeting with Simon it won't be bad. If it's Modest! then there's something to worry about. What are you doing now?"

"Um just going to get ready. Louis is driving us."

Zayn clenched his fists. His face started getting red. It was heartbreaking how much I was affecting their relationship. I put my arm on his shoulder and he calmed down a little. He sighed and went to his room to change.

___

This was literally the most awkward car ride ever. Harry was sitting in the front with Louis since he's the one that's not as mad as the others. Then it's Niall, Liam in the middle row, and Zayn and I in the back. Nobody was talking and you can only hear the faint tunes coming through the radio. Harry was on his phone and listening to his own music while Niall and Liam were glaring out the window, having brief whispered conversations here and there. Though I don't hear what they say, I'm pretty sure it's about Louis.

Meanwhile Zayn was in the back an arm around me and was texting Perrie... At least I hope they were only texting. I haven't met Perrie yet but she seems really nice. And I'm happy for Zayn. Even though he's the one that's the most pissed about this situation, he was the happiest at the moment, talking to Perrie brought a smile to his face. I never saw him smile like that to anyone except his sisters and mum. He didn't even smile that big for Ris and I. I hope I got to meet Perrie soon, not because I'm a huge mixer but because I want to thank her for keeping Zayn happy.

I looked back to the front and I saw Louis eyes meet mine through the mirror. They were afflicted with Pain and a need of forgiveness. I looked away and looking at the polluted atmosphere as we drove to Simon's LA office.

***

30 minutes later we were seated in bean bag chairs in Simon's office waiting for Simon. I was actually surprised he had such a unofficial look to his office. He looked so scary and intimidating on XFactor. Everyone was still quiet except Harry, and Niall, who was trying to see how many pencils they can put in Zayn's nostrils. He was sleeping which was the most adorable thing ever. It reminded me of the times Ris and I would give him makeovers or cover his face in Nutella or Vegemite. Most of the time it was Vegemite. I was sitting next to Liam across from them. Louis was sitting a few seats away from everyone. A sense of longing on his face. I started feeling sorry for him. I saw myself 5 years ago when I looked at him. This desperate need to want to fit in and for everyone to like me. But I brushed it off quickly reminding myself that this was go bing a taste of his own medicine except a lot more sweeter. At least in Louis situation the boys will eventually forgive him and they'll be best friends again.

They were at 20 pencils when Simon walked in. Liam got up and greeted Simon. Niall was trying to stick another pencil in when Simon swatted his hand away. Then Simon tried waking up Zayn but it was no use.

"Let me try." I said. The boys started watching me. I went up to Zayn's eat and screamed as loud as I can.

"OMG HARRY! PERRIE IS ENGAGED TO ZAYN! HOW CAN YOU KISS HER!?" Harry gave me a horrified look as Zayn woke up instantly, making dozens of pencils flying everywhere. I broke into Laughter as Zayn pulled the rest out and was looking at Harry who looked shit scared.

"HE DID WHAT?!" Zayn yelled. I went up to Zayn and patted him on his quiff. He hated his hair being messed up.

"I was kidding. Trying to wake you up. We did that all the time remember?"

"Yeah it was like getting a heart attack every morning. You were like OMG ZAYN! WAKE UP! YOUR MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL!" Zayn said making a terrible impression of my voice.

"Wow it is so good you guys aren't actors." I muttered.

We all sat around the table in our beanbag chairs making it a professionally unprofessional meeting.

"Well I just wanted to confirm things about the Where We Are tour starting in April."

Ahh my birthday month.

The boys and Simon started talking about ticket sales, backstage passes, interviews, CD signings, merchandise, and a bunch of other tour stuff. I started zoning out and thought about Doncaster. Was it weird that I missed the place I was abused so dearly? Probably. I mean I didn't have anything to miss from there. I didn't have any friends-Zayn and Ris were my first friends- and my parents didn't love me. I was bullied and abused all the time everywhere I went. And yet I missed Doncaster. I missed the familiarity of the town. The way birds always woke you up in the morning. The way the sun came up at exactly 7:05 and you would get a perfect view if you went to the local park. I missed the place I was born. Even if the 17 years I lived there was with abuse and hatred.

I noticed the boys-except Louis- and Simon looking at me as I realized they were waiting for my answer on a question.

"Oh sorry what?"

"We were asking. When do you finish Uni?" Niall asked.

"Um 2 more years why?"

They just turned back and kept talking more. Boys.

"Ok boys. The tour starts in April."

"Wait. Why am I here?" I asked.

"Yeah why is she here?" Zayn asked.

"Because. You Melody will be touring with One Direction."

The boys-except Louis-started cheering. But Louis and I had the same amount of Shock on our faces. I had to spend 7 months with the boys. 7 months with the boy I hate.

7 months with the boy I loved.