Another Romance

Chapter 26- Ghost of the Heart

Lemuel lit up another cigarette and begin his story

"siguro naman Lance have told you about his Father?"

"uhm yes, pero hindi ata in full detail, I always accept what he can give"

"hmmm... Faight there's too much weight on his shoulders that makes him like that"

"what do you mean?"

"He blames himself for his mother's death Faight, namatay ang mommy niya because of him well para kay Lanc siya ang naging dahilan"

"why? What? I thought she died dahil landslide?"

"yes... Lance was eight years old when it happened. His family decided to camp one day on that mountain eh syempre bata masyadong mausisa gustong-gusto niyang bumaba ng lake, niyaya niya pa nga nuon si Doc Sam pero hindi pumayag ang kuya niya ayun! Tumakas ang bata. Umalis siya, leaving her parents worried sick of his absence. Lalo na si tita, kahit bumagyo bigla at kahit anong pigil ng asawa niya sa kanya hinanap niya parin si Lance. He was lost but was found excatly where his dad had built that lighthouse. Si tita, umaga na nang matagpuan sa lake, lumulutang. Since then Lance started to blame himself and vowed to pay for his mother's death. Pinangako niya sa sarili niyang hinding-hindi niya na ulit bibiguin ang daddy niya kaya kahit medyo tagilid siya sa kurso niya nagtapos siya ng marine engeeniring, pero kahit anong gawin niya hinahatak parin siya pabalik ng passion niya ang pag-pipinta."

"but, did his Father really blamed him?"

"yun nga eh, ni minsan wala siyang narinig na sinisisi siya ng tatay niya. Ever since lahat ng pwedeng magpasaya sa dad niya ginawa niya, even getting engage to someone he's not in love with. Kasi naging pabor ang father niya sa babae since magkasyo-syo nga sila sa ibang business"

"si Angela"

"yes, siya nga. Well Lance treated her well naman eh, sobrang alaga nga eh pero lagi din silang nag-aaway, laging may kulang kay Lance para kay Angela. Lagi siyang nagseselos"

"may babae si Lance?!!!!"

"ha ha ha, wala. Angela is just jealous of someone invisble I guess. No matter how hard she tries, hindi niya makuha ng buo si Lance, she decided to break up with him the moment Lance finally decided to let go of his proefession, para sa kanya signal nayun na hindi talaga siya mamahlin ni Lance"

"ayun parang teleserye habulan part. Lance had failed his father two times already una? by being the reason for his mother's death, second by letting go of his profession that his dad had dreamed of him and now by breaking up with the girl his Father is in favor of"

"it's a gloomy afternoon like this, Angela decided to leave this town and away from Lance kaso nagpumilit si Lance, hinabol niya parin si Angela, and because of his determination to catch up with her nangyari ang hindi inaasahan"

"his truck had hit a van, it almost rolled over the rough road. Nag-crash sa right side ng van that killed two people yes Faight,  people had died"

She can't breathe, her heart starts to beat faster than the usual

"among the fifteen passenger, dalawa lang ang namatay. Si Diego, yung studyante mo? Kasama niya bunso niyang kapatid at nanay niya"

"wha...what??? sila yung"

"yes, sila yung namatay Faight"

A sudden flashback of memories hits Faight. When Lance knelt down in front of Diego and hugged him tightly and from the moment Lance saved her and diego from a sudden death.

"so you see, everything that Lance is feeling now is guilt, lahat ng nanggyari sinisisi niya sarili niya" "and seeing Angela again brings him back to that fateful day"

"but bakit niya ako kailangang iwasan?"

"Faight, you are too good to be true for him, but regardless you are too important, he's afraid that if he again decided to go for what he wants and what makes him happy kasunod non? disaster na" "baka may mawala nanaman, this time baka ikaw na ang mapahamak kapag dumikit kapa sa kanya"

"but it's not his fault, it was never his fault right?"

"I guess, this is the time for you to be courageous and helped him realize that.He's being depriving himself of true happiness since he was a kid Faight, and having you now must be too much for him to handle"

"am I a burden to him now? mas napapahirapan ko ba siya?"

"I think you have to find out yourself"

Faight tries to compose herself. She went and look for Lance. she found him where Lemuel told her to go. In the grave of his mother and Diego's family. She hides behind a tree and watches Lance from afar. He;s kneeling, groping the muddy ground beside his mother's grave. She wanted to do something, come closer and share the weight he carries for too long. But she remained standing, hiding silently crying.

"Pinangarap ko to noon, sabi ko kapag dumating na at alam kong dadating talaga aalagaan ko, hindi ko na papakawalan pa. Pero bakit ngayon pa? kung kailan hindi pa ako handa, kung kailan hindi ko pa kayang maibigay ang sarili ko ng buo? kung kailan hindi ko pa napapatawad ang sarili ko? kung kailan wala pa akong karapatang maging masaya. Ma, please tulungan mo ako ayoko siyang mawala, paano? anong gagawin ko ma? anong karapatan kong maging masaya kung ako mismo ang naging dahilan nang kalungkutan ng iba? Dad died because you died, and a poor kid had lost his family because of me! because of me ma, lahat yun dahil sa akin!" He mourns beside the grave of his mother whie heay rain pours.

From a distant Faight can hear his screams and cries. It pains her to see him like that for the first time. The Lance whose fierce and bold, is now vulnerable and broken.