Pretty Please Don't Pinch Me

34. Firsts

I lean my forehead against his shoulder and kiss him there, tasting the slight taste of salt on his skin. Suddenly in the intense moment of passion, I experience a second of clarity, and its importance surpasses everything.

"Harry... do you have a... did you bring a..." referring to a condóm and he thinks momentarily, and tilts his head back and sighs heavily.

I'll take that as a no?

I'm not currently taking the pill, and this is a new relationship. I don't know Harry's history, and I'm not going to take a chance with something like that. I'm sure it would be okay, but I'm not going to be so irresponsible my very first time.

"Wait a sec," I say, leaning over to my side table drawer, and I find what we're looking for. "Safe sêx seminar from school," I laugh. "Lucky I held onto it."

It was from one of those dreadfully awkward meetings for the older year levels, where they split up the boys and girls. The pack included things like condòms, tampons, and safe sëx information, and I embarrassingly took one. I'll never forget the moment where Scarlett raised her hand and requested if she could have any of the leftover packs.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks again for what seems like the millionth time, to which I nod my head.

"I want to learn from you... to learn with you Harry," and he kisses me lightly.

I hold the cöndom up, dangling it temptingly to him. He takes it, tearing the plastic with his teeth, and I watch him as he carefully places the rubber over the tip of his pênis, rolling it over. It seems like a snug fit and it just dawns on me that that is going to be inside me.

But how?

In one effortless motion, Harry turns me over so I am lying on my back, and he is laying over me, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. His face hovers over mine before he begins kissing me passionately, and he playfully nips at my bottom lip with his teeth. My entire body feels like it's on fire, and every little part of me that he touches sends feelings of raw plëasure straight to my core. When his fingers enter me again, I gasp, and I can feel that I am now ready for him.

His eyes search over mine, wordlessly demanding my attention, and the intimacy of the moment is overwhelming. I nod my head while he takes himself in his right hand and rubs lightly over my area back and forth. The pure act and simplicity of it all is absolutely torturous, and I breathe his name out of séxual frustration.

"Please," I beg, and he eases himself achingly slow into me. I feel such a tight pinching sensation within myself and I cry out from this foreign pain. He maintains his position, holding still while my body adjusts to his presence.

"Ava are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I wince, feeling a single tear roll down my cheek. He kisses the salty trail down to my jawline.

"I just wanted to be sure so I can go further. I just don't like to see you hurt... but it's kind of inevitable in this situation."

"You mean to say it's not all the way in yet?" I snap, completely bewildered.

"Ava, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm not properly even in you."

What?!

With the amount of pain I'm experiencing, I would have thought the deed was done.

"Just remember we can stop at any time."

"No, it's okay. Just keep going. It's okay," I press.

I can't believe the pain I'm going through. This isn't the sëx I've read about in books. Books about first times describe sëx as painful for mere seconds, and the girl magically has the greatest órgasm of her life. I don't feel even close to that right now.