The Less Lonely Girl.

NEW DIRECTION- THE END.

JAMIE'S POV:

As I woke up the pain in my head was killing me may be it was the hangover that was showing it's magic. And when I turn to my right there is Niall sleeping peacefully with a smile.

'Holy shit' what have I done? How did this happen? What was I thinking? I  got down from the bed and I  picked up my clothes off the floor and ran to the bathroom. There was a tornado of thoughts running through my head. I stood under the shower I wanted all the feelings and emotions and all the questions to be washed off. 'I have to run. Nothing seems right. I can't stay with niall. I killed his brother. What do I feel for him? I don't no. What will I tell mom and dad? I can't face things I need to run.' These were the thoughts going on In my head.

I came out of the bathroom and niall was still asleep. My head ache was so terrible that i could not even concentrate on packing my bags to leave. So I took some painkillers which my mom makes me take when I have this terrible headache. The medicine didn't give me immediate  relief. But somehow I managed to pack my bags. I know I am being selfish and I am running away but if I don't go then Niall will stay with me and I don't want him to stay with me because I think I am crazy I might have some brain disorder.  He is gonna suffer if  he stays along with me. But I spoilt his trip. I shouldn't have come on this trip with him but I can't leave him like this. He needs to know why I left? Mom and dad needs to know why I am leaving? So I search for a notepad to write two letters. And I start scribbling because I have to be gone before Niall awakes:

NIALL'S LETTER :

hey niall,

I know you must be shocked for what I have done. And you might even look for me but don't. Yesterday what happened between us means a lot too you and to me too but I don't no. I killed your brother and you can't love me. I  don't even deserve your love. Yesterday when you took me on a date and then In the room I don't no why I could only see Eric in you. Niall I know if I would have been there you would have told me or you would have assured me that we will make it through but it is very difficult to save someone who is already drowning and I can't take you along with me and drown.  I don't no where I am going or what I am gonna do?  But I know that going away is the best thing for both. Eric told me in his letter that God has told him that I will fall in love with his shadow but I think that  the God changed his mood at the end. Thanks for trying to save me. Thanks for all the good memories we made. Everything seems so heavy to me. I feel so heavy. Heavy are these moments in between the in betweens. Longer than those seconds and minutes and hours and weeks and months  spent in the now and then. These long moments  breaks in the forward motion seem to last till we die. Can there be more I ask myself everyday ? But the only answer I get everyday is 'no'. All the times wondering  I never got who I am instead I have got who I am not. I know I am thinking about myself right now but I have to do something. I don't even no what is happening? It feels like my Heart has become a jigsaw puzzle which I have tried solving and still trying but couldn't solve yet. I know I spoilt your trip. I spoilt your dream. I am sorry. I hope and wish that all my happiness knocks your door and you conquer the whole world and as your brother told me the same way I will tell you go conquer the sky, moon, stars and the entire universe.

Ps: your selfish, reckless, friend.

TO MOM AND DAD:

You know dad you always used to tell me that I love mom a lot when compared to you but you know the truth is I do love her but not more then you. You have been my everything and you will always stay my everything.  There is no man in this world who can make me feel the way you do. You can bet on this. What ever I am and what ever  I have achieved is all because of you and for you.  I am so glad that God actually sent me to your home and not to the people' s home who left me soon after I was born.