The Less Lonely Girl.

SURVIVE

ERIC'S POV:

It is really getting difficult for me to drive back home.All i   could  think  was her  leaving me. She left. She went. I am going back to those days, when i had first seen her in the party, then she coming to my home and the time when i drove her back to her home. All i can feel now is remorse. I  do not understand. this is the catastrophe of one sided love. you give away everything to that person thinking that one day she would understand. you start dreaming your entire life with that one person, but all we are doing is living in a dream. why do we dream? we dream because we want to live a life better than what we are living at present.  we dream because we want to do everything, cross all the heights that we are scared to do now.

Eventually, everything we could have or had tries catching up to all the things that we did not become and we realise that the lies we tell to ourselves or live  can only be believed if the truth is far enough away. once we can make out their form in the distance, the demons of our hope is seen for what it is. The formless desires take shape and become alive. Become weak and breakable. reaching out by time our dreams turn to dust in our life.

She did not love me perhaps because i was not good for her ego, may be because she did not want to be weak or may be because you do not destroy the person you love.

"Hello Niall" i answered the phone.

"where are you? mom wants to talk to you wait" Niall gave the phone to mom.

"Eric, where are you? are you alright, love?" mom sounded worried.

"yeah mom. I am completely fine. why do you worry about me so much?" i grimed.

"you and Niall are my heartbeat. How can i stay without you both? how can i not worry?" mom answered with tears on the phone.

"may be from now on you do not have to worry about me and only Niall might remain as your heartbeat" i do not know what made me tell that.

"have you gone crazy? where are you? please come back home Eric" mom cried.

"mom please do not cry. if i am your heartbeat you are my life. i cannot go anywhere even though i go at the end of the day i will come back to you no matter what" i kind of consoled mom.

"where are you right now? will you please come home?" Niall shouted from the other side.

"stop screaming i am driving i will be back soon." i tried to console him too.

"i am sorry." Niall apologised.

"Be careful with your heart though you have not known anything so deep. there is limit to the secrets even the strongest one can keep. the moment that you have been knocked down , is the moment that it counts, and the moment when you think you have lost yourself is the moment that you are found. You can see the world much clearer than me. When your eyes are filled with tears the only way to not be afraid is to learn to face your fears, you are not really afraid of the dark you are actually afraid of a lack of light. And it is a fear of falling when you say your scared of heights. the only reason you might feel sad is because you are not trying to be happy. you may say the world is an ugly place, but you are only seeing the view from your door" i have no clue what is making me say all of this.

"why are you telling all this on the phone? drive safe and come back. got it?" he asked.

"i will." i answered and i tried to keep my phone on the seat but it fell from the seat and when i tried to pick it up i did not see a truck coming from front and i dashed that truck.   My head hit the glass heard. 

The next moment all i saw was a room which looked like an intensive care unit. The nurses around me.

"what has happened to me?" i questioned to one of the nurse.

"please do not talk, you are still bleeding. I am sorry to say but you suffered a brain haemorrhage and we tried but could not stop the bleeding" the nurse answered with grief.

"will i be alive? will i survive?" i questioned the nurse. she did not answer and her silence told me that i was not going to be alive.

"can you do me a favour ?" i asked her.

"if my family is out there waiting for me to wake up, please do not tell them that i have a little life left in me. please. my mom and my brother cannot see me taking my last breath. they will break." i requested.

"i heard you. We can not do this. this is against the rule" the doctor interrupted.

"this is my last wish" i pleaded. i was just asking God some more time to stay . i know that this is my end but i do not want to leave my story incomplete.

"Okay" the doctor answered.

"can you write few letters for me?" i requested the nurse. She took a notepad and a pen and sat beside me and started writing and I told her to give them to my family after I die.

perhaps we are not afraid of death but of our name plucked from the air, of the silence that surrounds a thing that is  just no longer there. for we never really know the lifespan of a single sound. how many years after a body stops. A name will stick around. perhaps it may stretch to the generations echoes one last time then never. until the space it fills is replaced by its loss forever. or may be it lives after we fade, it is why we write our names on things we own and all we have ever made. it is a diamond of remembrance in a world that is prone to forget, the taste of who we were on lips of one we have ever met. the hope they will stumble on the stories we have loved gone with age, that there they will find what we had left :  our name on the things and for just that flying moment it is as though we have beaten death, that in the whisper of those words we have taken one more breath.

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