Mercy[BEING REWRITTEN]

5| Someone Like Me

Chapter 5: Someone Like Me

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M E R C Y

LIKE I HAD depicted, Savannah had woken up groggily and started screaming for me. I legged it downstairs and guess what was waiting for me.

The usual.

It's always been Savannah's speciality to punch me, but she occasionally will kick and slap me, and if she really is mad she'll push me into the floor and get random stuff to throw at me.

Usually bottles.

And they smash so....

Savannah stands up and begins to mutter incoherent words. She then starts punching me all over, and all emotions and feelings leave my body. It's always like this. All I see are Savannah's fiery eyes, and my focus is on nothing else.

Sure I know she's punching me, but at this point that isn't even a problem. Her eyes are interesting. They used to be all ocean blue and sparkly. Now they're practically grey and burning with fury.

The alcoholic she's become consumed her, and I know the Savannah I once knew is still in there, trapped inside, caged by the drugs and tied with the endless drinks she takes, but it's the fact that I've stopped hoping, thinking, believing.

She's gone.

And there's no other way to put it.

Savannah starts throwing the empty bottles on the floor at me. I can see the glass shattering. I can see it rip through my clothes. I can see it rip through my skin.

But I can't see it rip through my heart.

And soon enough, I couldn't see anything.

•••

I wake up on the floor with blood pretty much all around me. Savannah had disappeared, so I run upstairs jerkily, trying not to let the glass sink in deeper.

I slowly take the bits of glass out, then washing the cuts and leaving them to heal. Savannah always disappears. I sometimes wonder who her friends are and their stories. Not many people go like " I'm bored, why don't I try drugs!"

Even though Savannah isn't here, I slowly go back down and eat any bits of bread that I can find. I refuse to let myself drink, or smoke, or take any drugs that are not needed. I would take medicines, but I don't really have access to them.

Eventually, I fall asleep in my sad excuse of a room, and drift off to a world of disappointment. I keep having nightmares one after another, usually consisting of first my family, and then Savannah, killing me and torturing me with a knife.

The day will come. I'm pretty sure the day will come where Savannah has had enough, and tries to kill me in her definition of fun. And the funny thing is, I'm counting on it.

I've thought about suicide, and I've thought about running away. There are problems with these though.

I'm to scared to kill myself. Sure I have no one left behind to love me like Dad, which is why suicide was a big contender, but I'm too scared. Before Dad left I'd read books, and coincidentally some would be on suicide where the main character was depressed and would try and kill themselves and immediately regret it, but someone would save them.

No one would save me. I would be gone. And I don't know whether I'd like it.

The same sort of idea goes for running away too. I'm too scared to because I'd probably die. I have nowhere to go and I doubt anyone would just take me in. I'd be left alone to die by myself and I just wish it wouldn't have to be that way.

If I had to choose it would be running away. I have more room for error.

My feelings begin to sink in along with all the bruises, and the pain intensifies. In an attempt to try and calm down, I take a couple of deep breaths, just focusing on breathing in and out.

But those things never work.

And I find myself shaking uncontrollably and wincing in pain. I really wish I could get used to it and erase all emotions in my life like they do in movies and books, but it's hard when you've only been taught how to love all your life.

One day I'll learn. I'll learn to stop trusting others. I'll learn to understand that believing in others is a waste of time. And I'll learn to believe that there is no such thing as love, for no one could care for someone like me.

YAY!! We beat 500 words!! I will post 5 more chapters by 26 th May...