Ask Me Questions

I'm From Ohio

You're probably thinking right now, "I knew that you are from Ohio, dipshit." (Okay, maybe you don't think I'm a dipshit.) because I've mentioned it a few times in various parts and stories on here. Or you may be just learning that about me. well, I am from Ohio, and I have a funny (at least funny to me) part for today. 

I was scrolling through the Internet this morning (okay, afternoon), and I came across this article that mentioned: "signs you're from Ohio". I read it. It's fucking true, most of it. So, I'm going to compile a list of signs you're from Ohio that is true. And of course, my commentary will accompany it. 

Let me know if any of these also apply to where you are from or just signs you're from your state in the comments. 

1. You are clear on what a Buckeye exactly is.

This is true. Buckeyes are both a candy and a poisonous to humans nut. The candies are delicious chocolate and peanut butter treats. The buckeye nut is fucking poisonous and if you eat it, you'll die. They come from buckeye trees. 

2. You have relatives that pronounce "wash" with an extra "r." 

I don't know if you can call it an extra "r" because there is no r is wash. But, people do pronounce wash as "warsh". It pisses me off, and I do have family members that pronounce it this way.

3. You know that "OHIO" is properly spelled with your arms."

How many states can spell out the entire state name with their arms? Not many. The only one I know of is Ohio. we have a whole fucking song where the only "dance moves" are is spelling Ohio like you would for YMCA. 

4. You often give directions using time measurement, as in "it's 30 minutes outside of Akron." 

I don't mean to do this. I didn't even realize I did this until I read this statement. But, I do. Instead of saying how many miles I live from Columbus (the state capital) I say that 
"I live about 2 to 2 1/2 hours away". I looked it up. I live 95 miles away from Columbus. 

5. You almost never got off school during the winter, unless there was at least a foot of snow.

Accurate. I've gone to school in -30 degrees Farenheight weather. There was snow, but not a lot so we could attend school. Our buses have snow chains on the tires in the winter. Unless we have a level 2 out (meaning don't go out unless you have to) we have school in the winter. But even after we have a level 2 for a few days, schools say "fuck it. You're coming to school." we're only 100% guaranteed to not have school if there is a level 3 out (meaning unless you are the police, medical staff, or a firefighter, keep your ass off the roads or you'll be arrested.) 

6. You can't possibly fathom someone not having A/C during the summer because Ohio summers are disgusting. Fuck you, humidity.

Ohio summers are awful. It gets very humid. It's not uncommon for the humidity to be 99% in the summer. You can't fucking breathe. 

7. You know there are only 2 seasons: Summer and winter. (These may occur on the same day). If you count "construction" as a season, then there are three. 

It's either hot or cold. There are no other options. we can go from it being 10 degrees to 80 in a day's time. It's a fun game we play here in Ohio with Mother Nature. Besides they're always working on the fucking roads here. I-75 has been under construction for like a fucking decade. 

8. You consider going to Cedar Point or Kings Island "vacation."

The zoo is also considered a vacation. I've never actually been on vacation. I have been to the zoo and Kings Island before (on separate days). we don't really leave Ohio. Once you're here, you're stuck.