Darkness Remains ( Vampire Academy Fanfict )

14 - What more can I expect?

For weeks I've been working, trying to stand, to walk like everyone. After more than a thousand falls I don't know how I still have faith. How I continue to try and fail?

Will this be my story? Will this be my life? The Rose Hathaway failing that easily. But that's the problem, it's not that easy. But doubts kill more hope than failure ever will.

I have so many people I have to be there for, so many people that are counting on me. I need to protect the Queen and the little one that will be running around.

I need to protect my friends, I must. We all know what's coming and we're getting prepared for it. And I have to be in those guardians that will stand in front row against the Strigoi.

So I keep trying, I have no other option.

Most of the people would be dead till now. I know that at one point my body would give up and the darkness will take over. But I'm doing all I can not to let that happen.

Everyone says that I'm not changed that the belief is still in me but the darkness is shoving it away. Everyone knows me as the girl that has the most confidence, now not so much.

Yes I'm trying and trying but all I do is fail, all I do is hurt myself and others as I continue to lose faith. Lose my temper.

But the chaos in my brain isn't letting me think straight. How do I get this out of my own system? Why is it this hard?

I'm sick of this wheelchair, I'm sick of this hospital room, I'm SICK of this. Why did this even happen? Why to me? Because you want to protect everyone stupid. But if you'd say my life for Lissa and the baby's than I'd do anything.

I wanna win this fight. It might be beyond my power but I'm gonna give all I have.

Sitting in the wheelchair and in front of me , the thing that will teach me to walk. Let's do this.

I got closer to it and tackled my hands around it, at the same time trying to get myself up. I was now on my feet which I could very little feel that I have them.

I stood up straight, trying to lift my head up. One step. Okay, that's good.

Another step. Still having the weight into my hands not my legs.

Another one. Looking down to see my legs and trying to feel confident of my accomplishment.

Another. Looking straight ahead again trying to focus on my body weight.

One more step.

Then. Bam.

I fell to the ground and as I did all that confident I build up came crashing down with me. Someone came to me and helped me up. The smell and the strong but soft touch let me know it was one hell of a Russian God.

"You okay? Are you hurt?" I shook my head telling him that I'm fine. He helped me up and I did the same process all over again. I pulled up myself to my feet and continued to try. "You can do this. I know you can." He whispered into my ear making me feel like the world would stop if he said so.

I smiled at him and he hugged me from behind, making me feel like I'm the only girl in the world that has the power to do anything. I love him so much I can't even describe it.

----------------------------------------------------

More weeks passed by with the same process. The same exercises every day. And no more wheelchair. Now we've improved to crutches. Ugh.

"Rose this is great. You've improved a lot. Stand there. Can you feel this?" Dr. Olenski bended down and lifted my leg, making me wobble a little. The feeling of her hand on my leg make me feel dizzy. The feeling I've been wishing to feel in a really long time.