twenty-four

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Harry

Its cliche what they say about hospitals; the bright florescent lights, the strong smell of antiseptic. The noise, the confusion when you wake up and see all the machines and chords hooked up to you. The doctors beating around the bush when they try to explain what's going on without scaring you. The terrible food, the awful green robes that leave your ass hanging out. Nurses that could give a shit about you, squeezing, probing and poking.

In other words, I hated them.

I could feel her hand in mine, her soft voice whispering to me, as who I could only be sure was Zayn rolled me somewhere in the hard-plastic wheelchair. Of course, she called him, now I could expect a lecture soon about how foolish I was. It only took 45 minutes for the doctors to realize that I had simply had a severe panic attack. I was irritated and furious that we'd wasted our time coming down here at 2 in the morning.

"Fucks sake, can we go? I just want to leave," I groaned, ignoring Emilia and Zayns' glares at me from across the small room. The doctor frowned at me, shaking his head at my outburst. It was taking him forever to read over my chart and tell me what the hell was going on, and why 15 minutes ago, I woke up sweating and feeling like someone had put 100 pounds of weights on my chest.

"Unfortunately, not. I'm sorry Mr. Styles but have you ever been treated for asthma?" I furrowed my brows shaking my head no. I had no idea where he was, going with this, and my patience was wearing on wafer thin ice at this point.

"Well I'm afraid after tonight we're going to have to start." His face was blank as was everyone else in the room.

"What? Can you explain please?" Emilia spoke up walking over and grabbing my hand in hers again.

"In your X-ray it seems you've suffered a very odd and small puncture. Your lung has weakened, and if we don't treat it, if you get too overwhelmed or overwork yourself you'll have a lot more attacks and they'll be a lot worse than tonight."

Immediately, I thought back to the hit Bryan or whatever that fuckers name was had gotten in during our brawl hours earlier. I knew something was wrong the second he hit me, but I was too mad to pay attention to it.

I fell back onto the bed in annoyance, Emilia squeezing my hand again to keep me calm.

"Of course, doctor whatever he needs."

I was just about to protest, stopping when a sharp pain went up my arm, from Emilia pinching me, a glare following.

"Ow! Jesus Christ woman. Fine," I grumbled, pulling away from her like an upset child. She rolled her eyes at me, standing up and going over to the doctor while Zayn took the opportunity to give me his dad lecture as I predicted.

-

I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. I knew this room like my own but it had been weeks since I was here, I'd forgotten how to maneuver in the dark. I was pissed after we left the hospital, my new inhaler in Emilia's hands. It was nearly 3 AM when we'd finally left and my first class at the gym was at 5:30. We didn't get back to her apartment until 3:30 meaning I had gotten a total hour of sleep. Pissed was probably the wrong word to describe my mood right now, topping it off with the fact that I practically kicked the edge of Emilia's bedpost with my foot, trying to walk around in the pitch dark.

Whose idea was it to start jobs before the fucking sun even came up?

I'd given up trying to find my shoes with my eyes blindly, instead opting to get on all fours and crawl around. I searched frantically, getting more annoyed by the second.

"Fucking hell!" I screamed, immediately covering my mouth, when I heard Emilia stir in the bed above me. My head was pounding from running straight into the door of the room. I held the spot, trying to stay absolutely still. It was quiet for a moment until she spoke.

"H?"

Her voice was soft and heavy with sleep, but she still sounded so sweet and innocent. I stayed quiet, not answering, hoping she'd fall back asleep.

"Harry? Where are you? Is everything ok?" I sighed, at the tone of her voice. She sounded scared and a little nervous. I stood up, finding my way to her side of the bed and taking a seat by her. Pulling her body into my chest I kissed the top of her head softly.

"Hey, I'm here, no worries I'm fine. Just go back to sleep, I've got work it's still early."

She was silent for a while making me think she'd somehow fallen back to sleep.

But when I tried to get up and leave again, she spoke up quietly.

"What? Work? Harry the doctor said you cannot overwork yourself. You've got severe asthma, you could have another attack, or like, I don't know you're so stubborn you probably won't even take your medicine and you'll, die. Then I'll be all alone again and you won't be here to help me, and Harry I can't, I just—"

I cut her ranting off quickly, surprised at every word that came out of her mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, Emi, stop. I'm not going to die, and I promise I'm not gonna leave you. Listen I'm fine ok? All I have to do is talk in the class, I promise it'll be ok," I whispered hugging her close to my chest again.

"I'm sorry,"

"I know its ok love, just please go back to bed, I'll be back later and we can watch movies for the rest of the day," she smiled widely nodding her head.

"Ok, be careful, I love you," she grinned kissing my cheek.

I sat still for a second at her words, watching as she laid back down snuggling into her blankets. I was frozen, but I was also sad because I knew that she didn't mean it the way that I meant it when I said it.

"I- um I love you too, see ya later."

I jumped up, leaving the apartment as fast as I could.

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