Every Little Reason | BTS

15 | Painful Breakup

K i m  J i n h e e

The elevator rang with a ting after it had brought me to the top floor. But I chose to stay in the coach a little longer as it felt like it would take my whole willpower just to make an inch of movement. My heart suddenly felt so heavy, so suffocating that I had to lean on the elevator's wall to support my weak being.

But the most wonder of all, I couldn't even understand myself. Why did I feel like this? Wasn't I supposed to feel content that I have finally cut ties with people in my past? Shouldn't I feel happy now that I can just focus on my family, Ray, and the new people in my life?

Why did it feel like I just literally broke my own heart for making the decision to finally leave them? Or was it because of the weak smile and the palpable pain in his dark brown eyes that actually crushed my heart down?

Even in my last step, I hesitated to leave him. So I had hidden myself behind a wall in the dim night, and saw his knees going weak as he squatted down and stayed there, motionless for a long while. His dark hair cascaded over his cold eyes, and I witnessed a drop of crystal sparkled as the moonlight contoured his melancholy features.

When I couldn't handle the enormous amount of guilt any longer, I decided to make an escape from there. I didn't mean to hurt Taehyung. Just like the other days where I knew I had hurt Yoongi, Jungkook, and Jimin, tonight would be another guilt trip that would strangle me out of my sanity.

I couldn't understand why the evil fate had to make me face such ultimatum. But at the same time, I felt like I actually didn't have any choice. Because without realizing, my heart had unconsciously made the decision for me — my family. The image of my family was the only thing that etched in my mind, not anyone else.

Mom's beautiful face, Dad's calm demeanor, and Jasper's caring side, I wouldn't exchange anything with that. I wanted to keep my happy family just as the way it was, and even when the boys suddenly barged into my life, it wouldn't change anything. I'd still choose my family.

So when I had found the right timing, I decided to end everything and gave them a proper closure, just like how Esra had suggested it.

But... Was that really a closure?

A proper closure only works if both parties had decided to let go. But a moment ago, Taehyung seemed like he was still holding onto a thin strand of hope — so powerful and adamantly — just like how he held me firmly around his strong arm.

Heaving out a final sigh, I decided to bounce off from the wall and entered the penthouse, hoping to see Ray around, but my heart dropped a little when I saw the living room was all dark. A deafening silence greeted my ears, and I started to feel so hopeless.

The sight of Ray's handsome and calming face would be just the perfect cure for this bitter feeling in my heart. But on second thought, I felt like slapping myself. Because I'd really be a bitch if I let Ray do that, worse, after my last encounter with the man that could make my heart race just by looking into his enchanting brown eyes.

I brushed the disturbing thoughts away and quickly brought my attention to the real world again. Where could Ray possibly be? Was he asleep because of the long hours of flight?

Turning on my heel, I almost made my way to the main bedroom, but my step halted in abrupt when I heard soft giggles from the dining room.

I furrowed my brows when I couldn't recognize the faint sound of chattering. With the darkness besieging me, and hearing the cryptic sound in the most silence of the night, it just sent a chill shiver down my spine. Within a second, the scene instantly turned out to be just like one of the horror scenes.