i left my heart in my mind (ashton irwin a.u.)

so far (it's alright)

 "you're gay, aren't you?" he smirked.

"well you're pan and it isn't fair that you should be allowed to watch pretty girls!" i protested. i grabbed his hands and tried to cover his eyes with them but he kept trying to push away, "ash, come on this isn't fair, i wanna see, too! plus i didn't know if you'd be gay!"

"i never said i'm gay," i argued, even though i had a feeling i was at this point.

"oh come on, i can tell you just have a revelation about your sexuality!" he protested.

"how the hell can you tell?" i laughed at his weird remark.

"you just always have this look on your face whenever you're either dumbstruck or surprised or you learned something new. it's really cute actually, your mouth just hangs open and your eyes go wide," he grinned, like he was happy to talk about my facial expressions.

"shut up," i rolled my eyes playfully.

he smirked slightly and quickly leaned in, pressing our lips together, "happy first date," he smiled against his lips. i didn't pull him away, "i think this went good," he told me.

"i think so, too," i agreed. i wasn't even sarcastic this time, i felt a lot better. i ended up scooting my seat closer to his, slipping my arm around his waist. i really wanted to hold onto him because of this incident with my sexuality, i suddenly felt a lot more attached to him. it was like my feelings were justified now and it was totally okay for me to love this boy.

"do you wanna head back?" he asked, a suggestive tone backing his words.

i nodded, "yeah, let's go."

-

we made it back to calum and michael's apartment and luke loudly announced that we were going to our bedroom, he was slightly drunk from the drinks at the strip club. if those two boys didn't know by now that we were "dating" then i wouldn't know what else would show them.

as we got into the bedroom, luke quickly shut the door behind us. this time, i tried again. he was drunk, so that made me feel more confident about my moves. with swift movements, i pushed the boy onto the bed and got on top of him, straddling his waist.

"whatcha doing?" he asked, childishly.

"what the hell does it look like, dumbass?" i scoffed as i quickly began to unbutton his shirt.

"you're topping?" he asked, somewhat annoyed.

"what's that supposed to mean?" i exclaimed. i stopped unbuttoning his shirt and placed my hands on my hips.

"you're just such a bottom, it is weird," he defended himself.

i rolled my eyes, "i'm not as cutesy and romantic as you are, you're definitely the bottom."

"that doesn't make me the bottom!"

"either way, you said i could top next time. we can switch off."

"fine, fine, but you don't get to top all the time. actually, most of the time i should top. i always wanna fuck you anyways."
my cheeks flushed and i quickly resumed unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his pants, "just shut up, you're ruining the mood."

"you're blushing, i'm definitely making it even better for you," he leaned his head forward and kissed my arm, since that was all he could reach, "can't we make out?" he complained.

"can't we take off our clothes first?" i groaned. i was flustered by how long it took to just undress him, then i'd have to undress myself. it was taking longer than i thought to unbutton my shirt and it was annoying how luke would complain.