Turning The Straight Player Gay. (Book One.)

31

"Can't we talk later?" He groans out loud as once more our lips meet.

My mind was slowly losing the battle but I just had to know, so with the little strength left in me, I pushed away from him and stood, wrapping my arms around myself as I realized that I'd somehow gotten down to my boxers.

Damon sighs but leans back on his hands nonetheless as he gives me his full attention. I want to be distracted by the way his body looks, all toned and well taken care of...

I don't want us to fight and my body tells me this but I had to know.

"I can't do these things with you... I mean, I like you Damon, I really do but these mind games you've been playing with me is so confusing and I... I just can't."

I watch as he gets off the bed and I want to retreat as he steps closer to me but I was so done hiding, I was so done running. If he wanted me then he can have me but only if I can have him too. That was my agreement, that's all I can offer.

"Chris-"

"No Damon. Either you want to be with me or you don't. I'm not some little secret stash of sweets that you hide away when people are near and go crazy on when they're not. I have feelings and these shit hurt."

"Chris-"

He runs his hands through his hair, lost for words but I was too done with his shit behavior and I wanted my emotions to show... show him how much I've been hurt by him.

"You can't just use me for your own selfish games and then pretend like the things we do aren't real Damon-"

"Chris-"

"We had sex!"

His eyes snap to mine and I feel my heart starting to tighten.

"And then you left me. You just took my heart and ripped it apart all in one walk and you don't give a fuck about how that made me feel. You pitied me because my dad died and you were selfish enough to think that carrying me for a whirlwind would be enough, but then you fucking left me Damon! What the fuck did you think would happen, huh? Did you think that I'd be okay? That I wouldn't go crazy thinking if I meant anything to you? That I wouldn't cry myself to sleep wondering what I did wrong... Why you didn't like me, wondering what I could have done to make you stay or at least to call me and see if I was okay?-"

"Chris I-"

"It's been 49 days Damon! 49 fucking days without you, with me going crazy all alone in that fucking house that used to feel like home to me."

My voice was starting to raise as I felt my emotions taking over me and I was just so done with everything. I didn't care if I could be heard by anyone else, I just wanted him to hear me, to finally understand what I'd been through... what he'd put me through.

"You just left me Damon. How the fuck do you just leave someone and-"

My body betrayed me on the final statement and I dropped to my knees as I felt overwhelmed. All the tears, the pain, the anger that had built up over the last two months reached my brim and decided to overflow and my body started shaking as I released my anger and frustrations through tears.

In no time Damon's strong arms were around me and I had no fight left to push against him. Instead, I let him pull me onto him as he tried to calm me down with words I'm yet to hear.