Turning The Straight Player Gay. (Book One.)

23

Damon's POV

~

I couldn't believe I was actually talked into smoking again.

I shook my head once more and placed my key into the keyhole. Every time I think I can control myself and just say no to Eric... somehow, I always ended up high and in the bed of some random girl. Maybe it had more to do with me but I ignored it as I heard the muffled screams coming from inside my dorm room.

As I entered I heard the loud sobs before I saw the frail body of the boy that continually haunted my dreams and snuck into my subconscious thoughts. His green eyes were huge and his face tear stained and I could see the failed attempt that he made as he tried to stop the tears from falling. Without thinking I ran over to his bed; the bed I promised never to go near again, and sat besides him. His tiny body shook as he tried to calm himself down and that just seemed to cause him to react more.

"Chris." I began softly, afraid of God knows what. "What happened?"

His eyes seem to widen more as his body started to tremble and I cautiously placed my hand on his knee as he buried his face between them.

"Did someone hurt you?" I bit my lip as I was afraid to finish my statement. "Did professor Nicholas say something to you?"

He shakes his head and I unconsciously released my breath. At least he wasn't getting expelled or anything of the sort... but what could have him reacting this violently? I've never seen him even look remotely emotional yet alone shed a tear and right now he was acting as though his dad died. I stopped my train of thought as that last statement resounded through my brain.

"What happened?" I asked once more and yet he stayed silent.

With great caution I attempted to somehow get an answer from the boy that was crying uncontrollably. I pulled his hands from being wrapped around his knees and held it protectively in my grasp. They were cold and trembling and I resisted the urge to pull him into my arms and promise him that he would be okay.

His green eyes stared back at me as I finally got him to look up and I could see how puffy they were from all the crying. How long have he been like this? Days?

"Please tell me what's wrong." I say softly and watch as another fat tear rolled down his pale cheek.

"My dad-" he began but somehow the rest was stuck on his lips.

Losing the battle of my heart and mind, I pulled him onto my lap and into my embrace and he wasted no time in burying his head in the crack of my neck and shoulder. The shiver that ran through me spoke volumes and I had to fight to keep my body under control. Now was definitely not the time nor place and I took a deep breath as I slowly rubbed the middle of his back.

He seemed to calm down after a while and soon his mouth uttered the words that I honestly didn't want to hear.

"He's in the hospital. His tractor upturned when he was on the farm and he got pinned underneath."

My body froze at his words and my mind went back in time to a time that I promised myself I'd never go. Even back then I knew how difficult it was to wait on news about a loved one's critical state and I could only imagine what he was going through now, especially if he and his dad had a close relationship.

"When are we leaving?" I asked without thinking.

Chris shook his head against my chest and I felt him inhale deeply. "I can't. If I leave before exams start I'll miss my first few and I'll fail the semester. They can't give me back the exams."

"But it's an emergency."

Chris raises up to look at me and I'm happy he's stopped crying.

"There's no telling if the accident is that bad. Mom said he got admitted this morning but she just wanted me to know. I can head home after exams and I'll just check in with them everyday."

He sighs and I can see how tired he really was. His brown hair is all ruffled and his eyebrows are drawn in as he seemed to subconsciously focus on his thoughts and he nibbles his bottom lip as he's distracted. I sigh once more, at a total loss of how to stop his worrying so I did what I normally did best.

He's still sitting on top of me that it was easy to turn his face and when his eyes met mine, my lips met his. I can feel him tense a few seconds before he welcomes the kiss and instead of just having it be the brief peck that I intended, I let my tongue enter his mouth as he moans against me. The distraction worked but now there was no way that I could control my body as I felt myself push him flat onto the bed.

The kiss was salted from his tears and I found myself getting lost in time as his hands snuck around my neck, pulling me closer. I barely heard him whisper my name but the sound of his voice had me groaning and I unconsciously tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth before trailing my mouth from his face to his neck. Wanting to hear him moan my name again, I sucked and nibbled his neck and on cue, my name was muttered.

I could feel myself getting hard and as much as my brain was telling me to stop, that this wasn't me, my body just would not obey. Being this close to him, touching him, kissing him, hearing him moan my name the way that he did, always seemed to make me lose all sense and as much as I hated it, I reveled in the feelings.

I recaptured his mouth and our tongues met on cue as I slipped my hands beneath his shirt. His body felt just like it did the last time and I groaned into his mouth as my hands roamed his small features. My eyes slowly opened as his hands halted mine and I cast a confused look at him.

"I can't do this." He whispers.

"I'm just trying to help." I whisper back, not wanting to break whatever it was that we had.

"I need to clear my head."

Chris somehow pushes me off him and grabs his phone before heading out and I groaned loudly as my head is in disarray.

How is it possible to hate and want someone as badly as I do?