Fading Out (COMPLETED)

Chapter sixteen

Oh god I feel her, before I even know I'm awake I know I'm wrapped around Isabel like a boa. I try to let her go but she holds me tight.
"Please" Iz whispers already awake.
"What the fuck Iz? You can't be in my bed" I grumble already in a bad mood.
"You were having a nightmare, you were calling me" she lets me go slowly and I jump from the bed.
"So? I'm always having a nightmare, my life is one big nightmare" I say flatly and go hide in the bathroom.
"I made it better for you, just let me make it better" Iz tells me from the other side of the door.
"No, you only make it worse" I say without thinking.
She's quiet and I wonder if she's still there, that had to hurt.
"Then why do you stay?" She asks and I can hear she's crying.
"You want me to go?" I choke out pressing my hands to the door.
"Oh god no, I love you" she sobs.
"I stay because this is my home, this is my home right?" My back slides down the wall and I think I feel sadness.
"Always" she replies instantly. "I'll go make you some breakfast before you have to leave" Iz says and I cover my face with my hands. "Oh and by the way, I flushed it. I don't do that anymore"
"You should have just left it alone" I sigh.
"I can't do that, I love you" she repeats.
"You shouldn't" I tell her and I hear for footsteps as she leaves.

I don't shower, I don't want to wash her off. I smell Izzy on my skin and in my hair, I smell her on my shirt and I don't change it. I miss her.
"And what? You don't think I need you too? I don't sleep without you babe. You could ignore me but not him?" Coop almost yells as I come down the stairs.
I've never heard him angry with her.
"I'm sorry Chuck" Iz says in a small voice. "I have scratches on my arms from the way he held onto me, we weren't all loved up in that bed. He was terrified, I don't know what he was dreaming about but he thought terrible things would happen to me, he needed me. When he woke up he couldn't get away from me fast enough, he hates me" she tries to explain and I hold my position on the foot of the stairs.
"I know what he dreams, he dreams every night. It was your fight that had him worked up, that had you worked up. If you're rethinking your choice just tell me Isabel" Coop is mad she didn't come back to him.
"What choice?" Iz gasps.
"Me" Coop says heartbroken.
"Lover no. You are not my choice, you are my soulmate. I didn't have to choose you because we belong together. I can't choose anyone else either, it's always you"
"You certainly chose someone else last night. No Iz, I don't want to hug you right now. You smell like my brother" Coop tells her way too harsh for my liking.
"I'm sorry" Izzy's voice is pleading and sad.
I come round the corner into the kitchen and Iz instantly wipes at her face, Coop crosses his arms over his chest and watches me.
"Bacon?" Iz asks way too bright.
"Thanks" I mumble and take the plate she holds out to me.
I sit at the table with my hands in my lap, well this is awkward.
"Bacon?" Iz asks Coop.
"Not hungry" he shakes his head.
"Cooper you're always hungry, please... I'm sorry" she finishes on a whisper like I wouldn't be able to hear it. "You stay, I'll go" she tells him.
"Isabel you need to eat, you need to look after yourself" Coop sighs in frustration.
"No I don't... I'm not pregnant Coop. Again. I'm sorry I have to go" Iz has tears running down her face as she tries to leave.
He stops her, pulling her to his chest and he holds her tight.
"I'm sorry baby, so sorry" he kisses her head and she hides in his neck. "That's not true sweetheart, don't say that"
She didn't say anything, I would have heard it.
"Then maybe we see that doctor, it's fine to ask for help" Coop consoles her. "Of course you are beautiful girl shhh"
Dude what the fuck?
"I don't want to talk about this now, please just eat" Izzy finally says.

I watch her as she brings a bowl to the table and sits in her usual seat on the side of me, Cooper takes his next to her. This is where we have always sat from the first day I got here, I look at us now with fresh eyes, I always just gravitated to her. Why didn't I choose the seat across from them rather than on the end? I would be better positioned for conversation, Coop wouldn't have to reach across Izzy to pass the salt. Tomorrow I will move. Maybe I'll take the seat across from Cooper, he can watch me with his disapproving eyes and hard mouth he keeps pressed closed so he doesn't spill out all the things he really wants to say to me.