Forever? Forever.

Heartbreak

Nine weeks had passed since I found out I was pregnant, and so far, everything was running smoothly. I had slight cravings, but not many, and I was squeezing in a workout whenever I had the opportunity.

TJ was at the gym, and I had slept in, which meant I woke up in an empty bed. As I showered, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, which I thought was normal so I thought nothing of him. Shortly after, I changed into leggings and one of TJ's sweaters as I sat on the couch and curled up with a book.

Once TJ got home, I just wanted to hug him, I wanted to feel his arms wrapped around me. Every time he saw me, I would always get a cute name to follow, this time wasn't anything different. "There's my Princess." he smiled as he greeted me with a kiss. As much as I tried hiding it, a tear streamed my cheek, which unfortunately he saw. "What's wrong cutie?" "My stomach, it hurts so badly." I had a gut feeling this pain wasn't normal and I was scared to know what was going on. TJ wanted nothing more than to have kids, and now that I was able to carry his child, I didn't want to disappoint him.

He took me to the hospital, because he is such a doting boyfriend, and as I laid on the hospital bed, he wouldn't leave my side. I was in too much pain to even answer the nurse's question, so he had to do it for me. The nurse performed a quick scan, by applying the jelly on my stomach but she looked concerned. After looking at the monitor for around four minutes, she told us that there was no heartbeat and I had miscarried.

The drive back was silent and draining. I failed TJ. He was so ready to be a father, and I knew he was hurting. I just wanted to hold him and comfort him but I knew he just wanted to cry. As soon as we got home, I threw my bag across the room and tried to avoid crying. He immediately went into the kitchen and sighed heavily as he looked down. "Babe." I muttered as he walked away from me. "I'm sorry." "Don't. Just don't. Honestly, it's fine." Seeing him be so distant broke my heart which led to me crying. "Brooke. Hey, it's okay." He pulled me in for a deep hug as I felt the tears become more frequent. "But, you're gonna leave me." "What? What makes you say that?" He was shocked that I even thought of that, but I had to be honest. "Because, you want babies and you're gonna be an amazing dad, and I can't even carry a child." By opening up to him, I knew I was crying harder and I felt his hug tighten. "Hey, hey, hey, I'm not going to leave you. Not now, not ever. I love you, throughout everything. Through every high and every low, I will remain by your side. It's like I said at the wedding, I want to marry you. I still do. If I could, I'd marry you on this spot. Yes, this is a difficult time, this is heart-breaking but we'll get through it." His words were so soft and reassuring. "Please, just remember one thing, I love you. Always have, always will, and throughout everything, that will never end."