It was three days since I found out I was carrying my little clumpy, lumpy, and globby as I affectionately called them. Dr.Nisbalm had finally allowed me to go home from the hospital which I was thankful for since sitting in bed all day was slowly driving me mad. He had wanted to make sure that I was fully recovered and prepared before leaving the hospital which I understood but I really wanted to leave. I had been placed on a new diet regime and had to do yoga exercises to prepare me for the changes to my body. I was so happy to be out of that paper thin gown and away from the hospital food that I barely paid attention to his words luckily everyone seemed to be paying extremely close attention for me and gave me the rundown on the ride home. Alder had helped me in while Marco and my Dad carried the bags of groceries inside because I was apparently unable to walk alone or carry anything, they must not have told me that. The house had been cleaned since I last left which was good since coming back to the smell of spoiled cheesecake wouldn't have been a pleasurable welcoming back to my home.
"I can walk just fine on my own," I said to Alder as I made my way to the couch to sit down after pushing him away. Dancing my fingers along the expanse of the wool throw blanket that lay on the couch. I took a deep breath to center myself in the moment.
"You're getting a little flip with them lips sir," my brother said flopping down on the seat. He spread his legs out and took his hat off of his head revealing a curly mess. He seemed in need of a trim.
"So," I said not paying him any mind. Alder and I have always had a relationship that was full of petty arguments. He'd say something to annoy me and id say something back to him. It was how we worked but if the time came I knew he would defend me without a second thought.
"One day I'm going to knock you out," he said cutting the television onto SportsCenter a show that I loathed. I would never be able to understand the obsession with listening to people talk about sports all day.
"Marco and Daddy would kill you," I said opening the remote app on my phone to change the channel from ESPN to something we all would enjoy.
"I'm not scared of them."
"Who aren't you scared of," my Dad asked yanking Alder over the back of the seat and holding him in the air by his shoulders then put him down with a smile as Alder looked like he was over the lot of us. Marco walked into the kitchen placing the bags on the counter then walked over to me and sat down securing his arm around my shoulder which also pulled my body closer to his. I was enveloped by his warmth and felt at peace. Kicking my feet onto the couch to get more comfortable he moved his hand down to my stomach where three little lives were developing. I felt him as he moved one of his fingers around in a circular pattern. He planted soft kisses on the side of my face that made me grin lovingly at him. I felt myself rub the side of my face against his body like a damn pet and internally cringed but at the same time enjoyed the feeling.
My Dad walked into the kitchen where I could hear him placing the groceries away then walked back into the living room taking a seat next to Alder who had taken control of flipping through the channels aimlessly. My dad snatched the remote from his hands abruptly but not too aggressive at the same time and cut the television off. I looked at the black screen then back to my Father.
"So we need to have a conversation about a few important things," My Dad said turning to Marco and me.
"Yeah we do," Marco said beside me. I was getting tense but his warm hand pulled me even closer calming me down. I hated when we had to go into an adult conversation because I was still getting the hang of being responsible for myself. I had only been worried about survival for years and now I had to look further into the future without any practice beforehand.
"You guys are having three children all at once and trust me when I say that I'm so happy to be adding more members to our family but the harsh reality of the situation is that it's going to be extremely hard. Having one child is a headache especially when you're so young and haven't really started living for yourself, Elm. When Aazo and I first brought Alder to our little apartment we almost went insane from the crying and late nights getting up to change and feed him. It was a constant cycle of feeling overextended and underachieving all for a baby who can't grasp how much you need a break. In the beginning years, it is a thankless duty that you have to endure every day. Luckily you have more than Kunaal to help you out when things get hard but we can't do all the raising for you, we all have careers and some have their own families that they have to put first. You guys have a lot of hurdles to jump for the next few years and really the rest of your lives. How will you afford the cost of raising the trio? Pampers, bottles, formula and everything else you need to raise a baby aren't cheap. If you were having one baby it wouldn't be such a big deal but the both of you aren't making enough money to support that number of children even with Elm's trust and your consistent checks Marco. It is expensive to raise a child in this area and the cost doesn't stop even when they are well into adulthood. How will you live, I have no issue with you guys staying here because this is your home and always will be but after a while, you two will want your own space and Marco's one bedroom apartment won't work. Then you two have to think about how you will you raise them, I and your mom had all of this knowledge before the end of her first trimester. I knew that she wanted her son to speak both Hindi and English fluently. That's why growing up she would only speak in Hindi to you boys until you guys grabbed ahold of it. Then we had a big discussion about religion. We ended up agreeing that we wanted all of you to pick if you ever wanted to have a religious preference. Another big argument we had was about discipline which we had to compromise on. If you haven't started those types of conversations then you need to start soon because these nine months fly past you and before you know it you'll be holding your children in your arms and trust me you're going to want to know all of these little things before then," my Dad said.
Sitting there I realized I hadn't been taking this pregnancy as seriously as I should have been because it was still so new to me. It was like I was casually strolling through a building that was on fire not realizing the danger of the situation. I was ignoring all of the smoke and only seeing the possible happy parts of playing with my children, feeding them, and putting them in cute little clothes. I had never taken into account that they would need a yard to play in or a car to get them to a park. I had no way of producing milk so we would have to either buy breast milk or formula which I knew couldn't be cheap. Clothes also would cost us money as well as changing tables. I had to figure out what I was going to do with my life because I was dependent on Marco, family, and my trust.
"Well, I looked into offers I've had received every now and then. I have one for a job as a Linguist. Also, the FBI is offering me a position for three years in Palo Alto that's about thirty minutes away from here with traffic so we can keep Elm close to his network of family. It's good money, they offered me around $116,200 starting since I have good experience doing some of the same tasks I have been doing for years. That isn't a crazy amount of money in this area but it will keep us comfortable. I did the rough math and that should be almost $9,700 hundred a month before taxes. I know that I am going to leave the Air Force in November and use my GI bill to go and get my Master's in Computational Linguistics so that I can get even better jobs which will help with money as they age. The housing could be handled with my Veterans Loan that I can use to purchase something beautiful for our family to grow in," Marco said. I felt like I had been dating and impregnated by a stranger.
"Wait, you have a degree and when did you plan all the extra stuff after leaving the Air Force," I asked.
"Well I was thinking a couple of nights ago about my options and found out the job was still open so I just added a few things on top of it, stop looking at me like that. I got my degree online while overseas and I have always wanted to get my Master's," he said with a smile.
"Alright then Mr. Ive got all the answers," I said feeling a greater need to catch up. I didn't want to feel like he was the only one making changes for our family. I wanted for us both to have our shit together.
"Well how about you tell us your plans Mother to be," Alder sneered at me.
I quickly flipped him off before my Dad turned to him," Well first off go drink a cup of laundry detergent and some bleach as a chaser, Secondly, I've got a few more classes to finish before I can get my diploma but after that, I don't really know. I don't have an idea of what I want to do as a career. Then there are the babies that I am going to be raising. Luckily I have the donation money that I have coming in every month as a cushion. I don't really know what I'm going to do," I said a little disappointed that I didn't have the big plans as Marco had already lined up.
"Well as long as you have a diploma and your grades are good you can get into a good college and find a passion," my Dad spoke up and looked at me.
"Look I just want you two to be realistic about all of the choices you make before they get here because the one that you make isn't your own anymore. You have three people coming who are going to need for you to have a good amount of your plans mapped out your options already. Even if they are subject to change. Understand," my Dad asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Great now can I turn the tv back on I have when things get so serious. Having kids should also be fun so remember to enjoy this time while you can," Alder asked while grabbing the remote and turning the sports channel on again. The men all started watching the commentary on grown men playing games while I sat there so unsure of everything.
'I have a feeling things are going to start moving fast.'
YOU ARE READING
The Guard To My Sanctuary
General FictionElm has known abuse for most his life. Threads of the past were the only thing that kept him going as he endured the pain inflicted. After escaping into the arms of a man with trauma of his own. Elm is forced to build a life for himself and his grow...
