The Guard To My Sanctuary

Chapter 13

I dreamed of London last night which I hadn't done in three days. It sucked because I thought I had done away with the nightmares but like a boomerang; they left just to find their way back to me. I dreamed that I was watching television with Marco, we were nice and cozy on a couch just enjoying each other's company in a dimmed room when London just burst into the house with a group of niggas and shot Marco before he could even react. I dreamed that London snatched me up kicking and screaming but he subdued me and to Trenton. He brutally beat me and used me as his personal slave taking me whenever he wanted and beating me bloody. I was so scared when I woke up I started screaming. Marco made me get on face time so I could look at him while he instructed me through breathing exercises. My dad ended up bursting into my room to scoop me and my phone up and walked me all the way to the master bedroom and placed me on one side of the bed and climbed into the other. The both of them waited on me to fall asleep which made me feel so weak. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later at seven.

Marco had sent a text saying that he would see me tonight since it was Wednesday and he promised that he'd be here which boosted my mood a little bit. I was slowly realizing I did more than just rely on him I was growing to really like him in a romantic way. I knew I shouldn't since I wasn't anywhere near stable enough to act on those kinds of feelings but I couldn't stop myself from falling into the emotions. Fantasizing about him cuddling up next to me was how I passed the time, I couldn't think about sex with him though due to my past experiences.

I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. The kitchen was nice and open with lots of natural lighting. The sun poured into the room from the windows. I grazed my hands along the white wood cupboards and the black Quartz on top of them and made my way to the refrigerator grabbing eggs, bacon, and a bag of oranges to make breakfast with. I set all the items on the green painted wood island and went to grab a bowl, utensils, a pan, and a cutting board. Grabbed tin foil and placed bacon on it and placed the bacon in the oven. I turned the oven on 350° F and went back to the island. I busted a few eggs open then went to the refrigerator to get milk to pour into the bowl. I then grabbed pepper, garlic powder, salt and whisk the ingredients together. I placed the pan on and the theme on low and added butter to the pan before pouring the eggs in and scrambling them. I let them sit while I moved on to the oranges that I sliced up and made my way back to finish the eggs. I checked on the bacon that wasn't crisp enough so I washed the dishes then came back. When I was done I grabbed the bacon out of the oven and made two plates of food. I quickly ate mine at the counter and washed my plate and left my dad's on the counter then rushed upstairs hearing the sound of my dad in the shower.

I had been going to work with my Dad who didn't want me home alone yet which was annoying but understandable. Out of boredom, I had decided to enroll in online school to catch up with what I missed in my childhood a week before Marco left. My Dad had to pull some strings with his friends in the school board to get me reenrolled without the public finding out but he made it happen. I tested out of middle school classes and made it all the way to eleventh-grade classes which made me happy until I realized I sucked at geometry and chemistry. Spending the last three days feeling dumb, stupid, and inadequate I wished I could have gone to high school and done the after-school tutoring and prom dances but those experiences were taken away from me.

Walking into my bedroom and went into my dresser pulling out a shirt, pink hoodie, jeans, and undergarments to wear at my Dad's office. I then grabbed my pills off his desk and took them without the need for water and made my way into the bathroom. It was dark themed with subway tiles on the wall and tile on the floor that was cold against my bare feet. I placed my clothing on the hamper that was giving the door and turned the lights on that dimly lit the room. I used the toilet then washed my hands and reached into the medicine cabinet to grab my toothbrush. I squeezed a generous amount of toothpaste on my brush and proceeded to clean my teeth then floss. When I was done I ran myself a tub and stripped out of my clothes. I looked into the mirror and stepped back to get a larger view of myself and was pleased to see that all of the bruising healed and I only had a few scars on my body that would hopefully fade. I then stepped into the tub and sank into the water and turned the faucet off. I didn't have much time to soak but I took the time to take a bath any time I could since I hadn't been able to take one in years. I squeezed the mint scented soap into a rag and used it to wash my body before getting out of the tub and drying off with a towel I kept hanging up on the door hook. I then went to get dressed and hurried to grab my phone, charger, and laptop. I stuffed the computer into my bookbag that used to hold my money and put it on my shoulders as I walked out of the room and downstairs to where my dad was eating.