Why Demons Weren't Meant to Go to Church

29 1 1
                                    

"Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian Sebastian." You said.

Sebastian was in his room, trying to attempt what humans called, "sleeping."

Fortunately, you knew this and wanted a reason to toy with the demon.

"Hello, destroyer of my sanity." Sebastian muttered. "Come on! We're going to church." You said.

The demon's red eyes widened at that word, church.

"Why must we?" Sebastian asked. "Because Ciel is too busy to come with me." You lied.

Oh this was an experiment to see what'll happen to Sebastian at church.

He sighed, his eyes growing pink. "Fine, but if we happen to meet in the upcoming future, I will eat your soul."

"I'll be laughing my ass off as you do." You challenged.

~Time skip~

You and Sebastian sat down and listened to the priest pray. You didn't really care what he was saying, you were more concerned about Sebastian.

"Enough with all of this, when do we get to hear the hot nuns sing?" Sebastian blurted. Everyone glared at him.

"Oh, yeah. Pray now when you know you'll be sitting in hell with me, grooming my charming kittens and licking my shoes." Sebastian said.

(Okay, this was supposed to be a serious and dark book. Now it's completely hilarious. What have I done?)

You snickered, knowing this was the best idea you've ever had in your life.

The praying went on for about ten more minutes and Sebastian sighed happily.

"Well, Bassie, how do you feel?" You asked sadistically.

"To be honest, I've never been better." Sebastian said, then yelled towards the priest, "Hey, usher! Ask the hottie with the body for her number for me!"

Sebastian pointed to a nun, who looked extremely confused. You were now turning red from straining to keep your laughter in.

"How awesome can I get?" You laughed. The communion tray was suddenly being passed around. You stashed twenty crackers in your pocket, Sebastian doing the same.

"Can we leave now?" Sebastian begged.

"No! We're going to torture you until I get a funny reaction." You said.

Sebastian's eye twitched.

~An hour of slaughtering later~

"Wow. I totally didn't expect this. You've impressed me. Well done." You said, doing a sarcastic clap.

Sebastian bowed down. "Thank you, Destroyer of My Sanity, shall we be leaving?"

"Oh, well. I've had my fun." You said, following Sebastian out of the now bloody church.

Mr. Sad Face || Ciel X Reader Completed ||Where stories live. Discover now