Secret

Fifty Eight

{edited}

May POV

My eyes flicker open to a semi lighter room. My eyebrows furrow, I thought I turned off all the lights.

I sit up briefly and see Harry sitting at the chair near my desk. "I told you to stay home." I say while itching my head.

"I know." He says softly. Harry gets up from the chair and sits across from me. "But, why would I listen to you?"

"Because you respect my wishes." His eyes roll. "I said I'm fine, so you can go. How long were you here for anyways?"

"Since 6:30." I look to the clock and see it's 8. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"Because I don't need your pity." His head tilts at me. I look away from him and to the wall.

"I'm not pitying you, May." His voice turns deep. "Sue me for worrying about you."

"You don't need too, I said I'm fine." His eyes burn on me intensely.

"May, stop saying you're fine when you look like you want to cry." I bite my lip. "You can't just push me away when this type of stuff happens."

"I'm not in the mood to talk about it." I dismiss. Harry runs his hand through his hair and shrugs.                                            

"I think you're depressed." I glare at him. "Have you talked to anybody?"

"Like who? A therapist?"

"Yeah."

"I don't need one, thanks though." I feel his hand rest on top of mine. I move slightly.

"There is nothing wrong with talking to someone just to vent."

"And pay a hundred dollars an appointment for some to just sit there and nod?" I laugh. "I'm fine, I don't need antidepressants, Harry. Maybe after high school it will be different."

"You take psych now, no? You're telling me someone who is depressed will just be cured after years of feeling like shit?"

"Want me to ask my teacher?" His hand removes from mine.

"Stop with these comments May. I'm trying here and you're pushing me out, and you can't do that."

"And why is that?" I ask.

"Because we love each other, and people who love each other care about one another."

"That sounds like something from Lilo and Stitch." I remark. His eyes scowl at me.

"You're being an ass."

"Because you think I should waist my money on a fucking therapist! Going to therapy means you have to have a goal and something has to change. What will change? Me getting bullied in school by your friends? How's that going to fucking change? Do you want me to sit them down and talk?"

"Maybe talk about your trust issues, your family issues, your need to push people who actually love you out. Stuff you can change."

"The trust issues ties into the bullying you know? And I don't push people out. There is nothing wrong with just wanting to be alone."

"Why do you want to be alone?"

"Did Adam tell you come over here? Are you tag teaming?" His eyes scowl.

"Stop changing the subject." Harry states.

"What? I like be alone, how's that bad?"

"What do you do when you're alone?"

"I don't know. Sleep?"

"Depressed people like to be left alone and sleep." Harry says.

"Who needs a therapist when I have you then?"

"I'm not leaving."

"You have to go home at some point, no?"

"I don't have too. I'll just sit here all night and just make sure you're not alone." I ignore his comment and sit up more.

I stare at him, and he stares back. "So how was your nap?"

"Decent." I say.

"You're stubborn." Harry states.

"How?" His green eyes burn on me intensely.

"All I want is you to talk to me about how you feel. About what's going on in that mind of yours. I'm not just your boyfriend when you're happy and in a good mood. I'm here for you no matter what. I don't care about the circumstances, May."

Harry moves closer to me and rests his hands on my waist. "May please just talk to me." I bite down on my jaw. "It's just me."

"You're one of them Harry, just leave it." His head shakes.

"Look at me." I don't. "May." His voice deepens. I glance toward him.

"Right now, in this moment, I'm Harry, the one who loves you unconditionally and the one who would do anything for you. I'm not the popular one who just sticks around beside the popular people, okay?" His lips touch my cheek.

I keep quiet. His fingers play with mine and I stare at them. His chin rests on my shoulder and his lips touch my cheek. "You're not alone."

I bite my lip and look at Harry. He moves away and makes eye contact with me. "I just don't know how much more I can take." I blink back my tears. His strokes my cheek with his thumb and wipes a tear that leaves my eye.

"I really want to deck all of them." I hear him admit. "I would never because they're girls, but I-" Harry pauses and looks at me. "It's killing me that I can't protect you in school. That I have to hear girls like Tara talk about you like you're trash. I just wanted to shut them and-" Harry takes a deep breath. "I don't know what you're going through, but I wish I could switch places with you. If I could, I honestly would."

I just press my head against him and feel his arms wrap around me. "Please just promise me that if you ever feel, sad like this to just text me. We don't have to talk about anything, I'll just bring you food and we'll watch TV." I smile gently.

"Okay." I murmur.

"I hope you know I'm on thin ice of keeping us a secret."

"I know."

"I love you May. Please just hold on." I don't say anything, I just let him hold me.

A://N

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~lauren