Secret

Nineteen

{edited}

May POV

I'm currently downstairs.

No one is home, which is usual. I'm in my kitchen studying over my vocab terms for my test friday.

I'm wearing Adidas shorts and a crop top that I wear to bed. It's laundry day and all my clothes are being washed. That means I have to wear clothes I don't normally do. My hair is in a messy bun and my ear buds are in my ears.

"May!" A loud voice shouts. I jump nervously, making my earbuds drop from my ears. I look up and see my sister. Harry lingering behind her.

"Sorry, yeah?" I rub my eyes. Sadie scowls at me.

"Unpack the groceries okay?" She refers to the brown paper bags on the floor.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I told you too." Her eyes roll. I bite my lip. Her voice tense. I look up and see Harry staring at me. I press myself against the island, feeling self cautious to what I'm wearing now.

"We'll be upstairs." Sadie looks to Harry.

"Let me use the bathroom, I'll meet you up there."

"Okay." Sadie walks out of the kitchen and I itch my head nervously. Harry looks at me and smiles.

"Do you r-remember where t-the bathroom is?" I ask. My arms wrap around my body trying to cover the skin where my shirt ends.

"Yes, I've been here a lot." Harry stands next to me. We both hear the door upstairs shut. "Why do you look nervous?"

"I'm not. I'm u-uh going t-to unpack the bags."

"Need help?"

"N-No thanks. I'll do." I say lowly.

"Okay babe" He leans in slowly and kisses my cheek. I feel my checks heat from him calling me babe. "We're still on for tomorrow?"

"Yep." I bite my lip. I feel his thumb pick at my lips making me become more anxious.

"I missed you." Harry whispers in my ear. His body presses against mine. "You haven't been answering my texts, I've been worried."

"I've been busy with studying, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He gently pecks my lips. "Do you I make you nervous or something? You're acting strange." Harry chuckles.

"Yep." He chuckles.

"Bye May." He kisses me again. Harry's arms wrap around me briefly. I let out a deep breath. His lips touch my cheek and he heads upstairs.

My phone beeps.

Harry: you should wear that outfit more often btw ;)

Me: i'd rather not

Harry: you look amazing May

Harry: your body is perfect

Me: uhuh

Harry: I'm being serious

Harry: there is nothing with the way you look

Me: :/

Harry: stoopp

Harry: :(

Me: i didn't do anything lol

Harry: i hate the way you talk about yourself

Me: i'll shut up now

Harry: ....

I lock my phone and huff.

I've always had an issue to how I looked or felt about myself. I don't think my body is amazing or anything positive really. I don't pay much mind to it besides it's there.

I run my fingers through my hair tensely and unpack the food.

Harry POV

"How's that April girl?" Sadie asks after talking about Todd.

"Good." I smile gently. I still find it amusing that she doesn't know it's May.

"When can I meet her?"

"Uh," I itch my head.

"Lily loved me. I'm pretty sure April will too." My insides twist at the mention of Lily. I keep quiet and bite my lip. "Are you still upset about her?"

I glare at Sadie. "No, I don't think about her at all. I even forgot her name." I retort sarcastically. "Of course I'm still upset. I'm always going to be."

"I understand that, Harry." Sadie says quickly. "I mean upset, upset that you won't let yourself be with anyone else."

"You know nothing." I mutter.

"I know that you haven't found anyone that you've cared about as much as Lily. You sleep around."

"You're judging me now?" I scoff.

"Of course not! I'm just saying you need to let go. Not of her, but of your love for her. You're not going to be with in love again if you don't."

"Who said I want to be in love again?"

"What is this April girl to you then? Someone to just screw around with?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"I don't know Sadie." I huff. "What's with the million questions?"

"I'm just worried that you're going to settle for someone who you don't love."

"Why can't you and my parents see that I can't be in love like that again? Lily and I were supposed to end up together. Now she's gone and I'm left here broken. Why can't you just leave it be? Please?"

"I feel bad for April who probably is going to fall in love with you. To bad she doesn't know she'll never be loved back." I bite down on my jaw. "Do you know how selfish you sound? You'll never love anyone else again? You can Harry! You choose to not be open like that. You choose to not be in love again. Don't say you can't when that decision is up to you. People move on from relationships all the time.

They find new loves. If they can, you can. I hate seeing you throw everything away for someone who is gone. I know you loved her. I know she loved you. I know you guys were in love and meant to be. But you have to let go Harry. That's what she would've wanted. She wasn't a selfish person, she would've wanted you to be love again. Not die alone because of her." Sadie rants to me.

May POV

I don't think I was supposed to hear any of that.

I really didn't want to either. I sit on my bed and bite my lip. Now I know something Harry probably didn't want me to know.

Harry: rain check for tomorrow?

A://N

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~lauren