Falling is the easy part (Camren)

29

Lauren:

The first thing I realised when I woke up was that I'd woken up with a smile plastered on my face.

The second thing I realised was that I was alone.

Which promptly wiped said smile from my face. I'm fairly sure that last night had been real and not just a dream. Camila had spent the night, and Camila had said she was going to stay here for a while, I'm sure of it. And we'd definitely fallen asleep wrapped up in one another, both exhausted by the day's events. But she's not here now. I leant up on one elbow and reached for my phone from the bedside table. 8:04am. Far too early for her lectures. And she'd said she didn't have to swim today. So where is she?

She can't have decided she didn't want to stay here after all can she? She wouldn't have just left without telling me. She's not like that. Is she? No. No, of course she's not. Sitting up in bed properly my eyes fell on Camila's bags still piled up beside my wardrobe. Phew.

Chuckling lightly to myself, I climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of pyjama bottoms and tshirt before going off in search of my girlfriend. It didn't take long to find her. Thankfully. In fact I'd only walked into the living room. A total of nine steps from my bed. Worrying about nothing I suppose. Camila was sat on the sofa wearing one of my tshirts, her bare legs kicked out in front of her resting on the edge of the coffee table.

I let my eyes draw up her long legs slowly, lingering ever so slightly on where the tshirt stopped at her lap, before continuing up over her chest and then falling on her face. It's was only then I started worrying again. Her brow was furrowed and she hadn't even noticed I was stood watching her. She just continued to stare into space as if her mind was off somewhere completely different. I don't need a degree in psychology to realise that something was bothering her.

I took another step into the room, "Camila?"

Her head snapped up quickly as I spoke and she met my eye for a second before rubbing the side of her face with the palm of her hand. I made my way over to her and sat beside her on the sofa, our legs just touching, and mimicked her position lifting my own legs to rest on the table.

"You okay?" I asked gently.

"Sorry, used to getting up early I guess," she replied. It didn't go unnoticed that she didn't really answer my question. I took her hand from her lap where it was playing nervously with the hem of her tshirt and threaded our fingers together. "I couldn't sleep," she admitted in a quiet voice. I squeezed her hand in mine, hopefully letting her know that I'm here for her. Always.

"I wouldn't have minded if you'd woken me up you know?" I told her softly and then placed a tender kiss to her cheek. "Morning by the way beautiful."

A smile touched Camila's lips for the first time that morning and she leant into me a little, dropping her head to rest on my shoulder. I pressed another kiss to her temple this time. "I know, but you looked so cute all peacefully asleep, I didn't wanna wake you."

Adorable isn't she?

We stayed sat like that for a few moments, both just content to be in each other's company. I knew that Camila would be struggling with what had happened yesterday, that that would be what had kept her awake last night. And also knew that Camila is not exactly one for talking. I just need to make sure she knows that she can always talk to me, and that doing so is for the best. I want her to talk to me, to open up more often and about more, but I'm not gonna push it. I don't want to do anything that might result in me pushing her away. Not again. As long as she knows I'm not going anywhere. As long as she knows I'll always be there holding her hand and offering a shoulder to lean on when she needs it.