Falling is the easy part (Camren)

9

Lauren:

Storming off again. Well, if Camila didn't already think I'm freak, she probably does now.

I bounded up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me before leaning my weight on the sink. The cold porcelain cooling my sweaty palms. She was drunk? She was fucking drunk? Is that really gunna be her sodding explanation for Saturday night? Because that's bullshit.

Raising my head I caught my reflection in the mirror, the tired green eyes staring back at me. I felt drained. Both physically and, weirdly, emotionally. I knew that I hadn't exactly got much sleep over the past few days, thanks to my head being too focused on a certain night with a certain girl to shut down, but the whole emotion thing, that was new. I like Camila. Like really like her. Even when she was stood there trying to tell me that it was all down her being drunk, I still couldn't stop thinking how gorgeous she looks. But I didn't know that liking her would be this hard.

No, that's not right. The liking her part is easy. I mean, come on, she's fucking beautiful. And we had so much fun on Saturday before the kiss just messing about. It was relaxed and easy and effortless. And then we kissed, which was A-MAZ-ING. And the sex, well that goes beyond fucking words. The fact that I like her isn't the problem. That's not what's making me feel so shit right now.

The problem is I want her to like me back, I want her to admit to liking me back. I want her to admit to wanting me.

She wasn't drunk. Not too drunk enough for it to be any kind of excuse that's for sure. She had wanted me that night. It wasn't anything to do with the amount we'd had to drink. I knew that deep down. The look Camila had given me minutes before she'd kissed me had confirmed it. She'd wanted me. But now, she's running scared, denying anything I throw at her. She doesn't want anyone to know, that much was clear when she shouted at me for telling Jay.

It was all just a dirty little secret.

I ran my hands through my head, exasperated. That's it, I'm gonna go tell Jay I'm off, go home and crawl into bed. I knew I wasn't in the mood for this and now I was in an even worse mood. I'm not staying here, fucking miserable, watching Camila pretend. I've run away already, I might as well run a bit further. I stood up straight, wiping my hands idly on the back of my jeans and opened the door.

I'd only taken a few steps when I felt a small hand wrap around my wrist and pull me backward forcefully. I stumbled backwards, practically falling through a doorway leading off the hallway and into a bedroom. "What the fuck?" I muttered loudly, whipping around to see who had decided to man-handle me. Camila was stood there, her fingers still wrapped tightly around my wrist, so tight it was a little painful. I tried not to marvel at her strength, tried not to let my mind drift back to the way her strong shoulders had looked poking out of my bed sheets on Sunday morning. She stepped around me, kicking the door shut before turning back to me, her jaw set and her eyes intense.

We stood staring at each other for a few moments, the air tense and thick with anticipation. There was a fire behind her eyes as they stayed fixed on mine, the incredible brown colour sucking me in again. I had to stop myself from dropping my gaze to her lips, or even further south towards her chest. See what I mean, the liking her part is easy. It's the not knowing what's going on behind those sad eyes, behind the fake smile and the fire.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I'm feeling?" She snapped, breaking the silence and my trail of thought. "You don't know shit about me."

"Clearly," I bit back without even thinking.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well if I knew you a bit better, maybe I'd have realise how drunk you were on Saturday night," I said sarcastically, watching as my words sunk in, pleased when they hand the desired effect. She blinked slowly, her jaw relaxing slightly. "I mean, there's me thinking you actually wanted me but no, silly me, you were just drunk right? It was all a drunken mistake right?"