Start Again

Chapter Thirty-Five

Audrey

The days in Busan were slow, yet quick at the same time. We got up early and went out with Hye Ri's mother to the market to pick out fresh ingredients for dinner. Then we returned and began prepping the side dishes. Afterwards, we'd do household chores and then play games with Hye Ri's grandmother in the afternoon before it was time to continue cooking dinner so that it was on the table when Hye Ri's father got home. Their house was small, with the separated living room turned into a makeshift bedroom for Hye Ri and I as she normally shared a room with her grandmother.

The busy days were meditative, yet the meaningless tasks meant my mind was busy. Whilst I was present in the joyful conversation between Hye Ri and her mother about village locals, I was also away, thinking about what I should do with Joon Soo. The more I thought about it, the more ludicrous continuing our relationship seemed. If a relationship is this doomed from the beginning, things would only get worse, not better. How could I ever hope we could overcome our instant communication issues? How would Joon Soo's mother ever approve of me? And, at the end of the day, how would we overcome the distance between Australia and Korea? He would never be able to live with me, and there wasn't a future here for me. If, despite all other obstacles, we continue out of friendship and a desire to have feelings, we'd eventually come to the same conclusion that we must separate.

By the end of the week, I was determined to cut my ties with Joon Soo and let him live peacefully without me. It would be difficult for the both of us, because I still strongly believe he is a lovely person, and, if what he says is true, letting go of his first love will hurt a lot, but we can get through it. People move on. People live with pain.

We were up late after dinner on our last night, playing Yutnori (a board game), when Hye Ri and her mother slipped out of the room to go through some of Hye Ri's things she was to bring back.

"You seem very troubled for a girl who is so young," Hye Ri's grandmother commented.

I shrugged. "Life has been very troublesome."

"Is it financial issues?"

I shook my head.

"Study issues?"

I shook my head again.

"Love?"

I nodded.

"Ahh... being young and in love surely is difficult. You know, you youngsters have it much more difficult. When I was younger, my parents matched me off to my husband because he had a bit of land. Romance didn't matter. Instead, we learned to become friends and then grew love. Now you don't marry unless you fall in love. It's difficult."

I made a noise in agreement.

"What happened?"

"What always does happen. Communication issues."

She let out a chuckle. "How long have you two been together? I'm assuming you're already dating this boy."

"Only a few months. But I knew him since I moved here at the beginning of the year. We've had our... complications in getting together. It's all so tiresome I don't see the point in continuing. Also, I have to leave at the end of the year."

"So it's only fresh. Look, back in my day, we were married off based on wealth or opportunities. You were really lucky to fall in love with your husband or wife, and also lucky to even be their friend. Then when my daughter was growing up, she struggled meeting someone she loved enough to marry. There was always something wrong with them until she learned to love their flaws. With Hye Ri, men come and go so quickly, I have trouble remembering the first letter of their name. People let things go too easily these days without waiting it out. Things like connections and communication take time to learn. Living and depending on another person is a procedure you need to be patient for."