Start Again

Chapter Twenty-Two

Joon Soo

The light filtering through the crack in the curtains woke me from my slumber. As I stirred, the splitting headache began to grow more painful. My head felt so heavy, I didn't think I could ever lift it from the pillow. Begrudgingly, I opened my eyes to the room.

I immediately sat up, causing my head to spin in the process. I held my hand to my head in the dismal hope that holding my head would stop the ache, which proved unsuccessful.

My surroundings were completely unfamiliar. Where was I? How did I get here? I vaguely remembered arriving at the soju tent, but after my fourth or fifth bottle, my memory disappeared.

I glanced around the room, trying to find something that would trigger my memory. The room was small: studio-sized. A few cupboards hanging over a sink and single kitchen counter lay next to the door. Another door lay next to what I assumed was the front door. A tall cupboard sat adjacent to the second door. Opposite from me was another single bed. On the bed-side table was a photo frame.

I leapt out of bed, grabbing the photo frame, causing my head to throb again.

Kim Hye Ri and an ajumma and ahjussi stood on either side of her.

I glanced around the room again. The place looked nearly empty, aside from some things that I assumed were Kim Hye Ri's. Slowly, I turned around to the bed I got up from. Unlike Kim Hye Ri's, the bedside table had been cleared. Yet on it remained an envelope, addressed to me. I slowly seated myself on the bed. I had a feeling I knew who this was from. I opened the letter and began to read.

Park Joon Soo,

I don't know where to begin. I wasn't going to say anything to you. I was just going to leave things the way they were and hope you don't hate me too much for leaving without a word. But when you showed up drunk last night at our dormitory, I sat on the floor for a while, staring at you, realising how grateful I was to meet you. I knew then I owed you something. So here it goes.

When I reached the end of the paper, I ran out the door, the letter still in my hand, and began running to the road. I knew my car would be far from here. The soju tent was closer to my home.

I stood by the road, waving my arms about in the hopes a taxi would pull up. But all were taken.

Instead of waiting, I decided to run. I'd grab a bus or the train if I had to.

As you know, I came to Korea because I was running away from my problems. My relationship fell apart, my parents' marriage was in shambles, and my friends took my ex-boyfriend's side. I felt alone. No matter how hard I tried to make new friends, everyone had formed their cliques and no one wanted to talk to me.

I was close to giving up. A number of times I had myself set up for taking my life. I tried a number of ways. But every time I was about to, the hope of something more cropped up in my head, and I kept going. I kept living. I kept breathing.

Numerous amounts of shoulders smashed into mine as I ran down the busy sidewalks. Now and again, I came up to the side of the road and waved for a taxi, but none stopped.

I knew I had to get away from that place. I knew I had to leave Hoju. Only time and distance would heal me enough to be able to take on the life I had been living. I don't think I've had enough time now, but I know I'm definitely stronger than I was. And it's all because of you.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Kim Hye Ri.

"She's gone Joon Soo. I can't put her on the phone."