Start Again

Chapter Fourteen

Joon Soo

Could we talk sometime if you're not busy? Audrey's text read. Staring at my phone, I could feel the lump in my throat. I wanted to reply with yes, but I didn't. I put my phone down and laid back on my bed.

Audrey made many attempts to contact me that week, but I brushed her off. She texted me every morning and evening. She tried calling several times. I even saw her waiting out the front of my classroom and took the back way to avoid her.

Then on Wednesday she spotted me walking.

I was on my way to the classroom, checking the morning texts she had sent me. She wasn't giving up. At first she kept asking if we could talk. And now she said good morning, told me what happened during her day, and asked me questions she knew I would respond to. Are you feeling okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat a nice breakfast?

"Joon Soo!" I heard someone call from the distance. "Park Joon Soo."

I spun around, searching for the source of the voice. Five metres away stood Audrey, waving her hands in the air to get my attention. We locked eyes. Her familiar bright smile spread across her face. My heart thudded in my chest. The image of her arms wrapped around that guy on the motorbike popped into my head. I turned my head and kept walking.

Why did I follow her? Why did I act that way? Why did seeing her with another guy make me so mad? Did I like her? Is that what this is? I thought to myself. I had decided after our fight to keep my space from her whilst I figure this out. I was scared of talking with her. I was scared I'd get mad at her the moment she opens her mouth. I didn't want to fight with her. I didn't want to lose her. I hoped space would help me calm down and figure out my feelings.

*

I laid in my bed that evening, waiting for her regular texts, but this time they never came. Had she given up? Was this all she could stand? Was I going to lose her for needing this time to clear my head? I couldn't shake the thoughts that raced through my mind. Her warm smile dropping from her face as I turned away was burnt into my brain.

Pushing myself off my bed, I walked out of my room and left my phone behind. I started heading for the door when eomma appeared in the hallway.

"Where do you think you're going at this hour?" she asked.

"Out," I replied.

"Out where? Are you going drinking?"

I shrugged.

"Joon Soo, I thought you were getting yourself together. You finally got a job. Don't start slacking off again."

"Eomma, I'm twenty-six years old. I can decide things for myself. So please, just back off. I need some air."

"Ji Hwa, let him go," appa called out.

Eomma huffed and turned around, walking back to the living room.

"Gamsa, abeoji." I put on my shoes and headed out the door.

*

I didn't know where I was walking to, I just knew I had to get out. I grew up in this neighbourhood. It was a place where your neighbours rarely changed. We weren't overly wealthy, but we weren't poor or exactly middle class. Eomma didn't work, leaving appa as our income. Appa was the director of a small company, run by my uncle, so he made a decent income. Uncle never had children so the spot as CEO has always been opened to me. But I didn't want to work there. I wanted to be a journalist.