Start Again

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Audrey

"Why do you look so down?" Do Yun asked one Wednesday evening during our tutoring session.

"It's nothing," I responded.

"No. Tell me."

Sighing, I leaned forward and rested my chin in my hands. "It's just that my holidays started two weeks ago and Joon Soo is working now, so we've barely been able to see each other. He's always too busy for me. And I'm not mad about it... I just miss him is all."

"I understand..." Do Yun seemed lost in thought for a while. Rather than talking, we sat in a mutual silence, until Do Yun broke that silence again as he suddenly sat up straight. "What if you go visit him at the office? Just for lunch break or something? He must have to eat at some point, you know? Even if it's just a small exchange, at least you get to see each other."

"But what if it's bothersome?"

"If he really does care about you then he won't find it bothersome at all."

I nodded. Do Yun was right. If he couldn't come to me, I should go to him.

*

When I got off the subway, my stomach began to knot up. This was a great idea in theory, but now I was starting to question it. He was barely answering messages, so I couldn't just call him out. And what if he was in a meeting? How would I see him? Do I just stand in front of the building until he comes out? I don't even know what floor he is on so I can't just go up. Millions of questions raced through my head as I slowly drew closer to the building, my steps becoming slower. I wanted to turn around and head right back. I would have to. But the slight excitement under all the anxiety kept me moving forwards.

I arrived in front of the building and looked up. The top seemed to disappear somehow into the cloudy sky. As if to spite me, I felt a drop of water hit me right between the eyes. I turned my head forward. It was just a coincidence, surely... But then another drop hit me. Then another. Suddenly the rain started pelting down. I ran closer to the building, standing to the side of the covered area that extended over the front of the building's doors.

Damn it! I cursed. I don't even have an umbrella on me. This was such a stupid idea. I probably won't even see him.

I stood there for a long while, waiting for the rain to slow down or stop, when suddenly, in the distance, I saw Joon Soo emerge from the building from another entrance.

I could feel the butterflies take off from the sides of my stomach and start to collide with one another. My feet unconsciously began to propel me forward. Then a hand slid itself over his shoulder. A beautiful woman had emerged in my sight from the same entrance. She leaned in and whispered something in Joon Soo's ear. He grinned at her and shook his head.

No... There must be some misunderstanding. This is like last time when I thought I saw him with another girl. There was some reasonable explanation.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled his number, my eyes never leaving his figure. I watched as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly end my call, before smiling back at the lady.

The rain was pelting down around me, yet, somehow, I couldn't hear it. Unknowingly, I had reached a hand up to my face to wipe away some wetness. Is that rain? No... It can't be. I've been standing here for at least half an hour by now. It feels fresh. It feels warm. When did I start crying? Without a second thought, I began running. The rain clouded my vision, making it difficult to see my surroundings. I wasn't sure where I was going, I just wanted to get away.