Guys Night Out (Part 5)

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"You were just an easy fuck, that's all," Stuart's face is hard as steel, his eyes full of anger and hurt

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

"You were just an easy fuck, that's all," Stuart's face is hard as steel, his eyes full of anger and hurt.
The tears in my eyes threaten to spill over as I stand in front of my best friend, completely shocked at the words that had just come out of his mouth.
"You motherfu-," Stiles rears back and lets his fist fly, connecting with the left side of Stuart's face with a sickening crunch. Stuart stumbles back a few steps but he doesn't make a move to retaliate.
"Oh my god! Stop!" I yell and grab Stiles' arm before he can attack his brother again.
What have I done?
✦✦✦
I feel so shitty. When I woke up this morning and saw Stiles still sleeping next to me, I panicked. I got dressed as fast and as quietly as I could and bolted out of my apartment. I drove and drove until I ended up parking and started walking through the woods. I just needed some time to myself to process everything.
Last night was incredible. I can still feel his hands all over me, his scent still lingers on my skin. I replay everything over and over in my mind, trying to figure out how I let him break down that wall I'd built so long ago, so easily. It feels like all he did was knock and I caved. I still don't know his exact feelings for me.
After I got the text from Stuart, I let him distract me and there wasn't any talking after that. The second time was different than the first, it was so much more intimate. Even my orgasm was more intense. It completely shook me. There were no words exchanged after, we laid in silence until we both fell asleep. It was probably the best nights sleep I've ever had in my life.
I'm pretty sure I love him. I'm in love with Stiles. It scares the shit out of me. I also love Stuart, just not like I love Stiles. I dread having that conversation. With either of them. How do I begin to tell them how I feel? I don't do feelings. I've never been good at talking about them, so how am I supposed to tell them any of this? My heart feels like it's in a vice grip. I don't fucking do feelings.
I run. I run for so long, I have no idea where I am until I come off the path onto the highway. I think I've run probably ten miles. Great. Now I have to walk all the way back to my car parked on the other side of the reserve. I turn around and start to make the trek back.
I collapse into the driver's seat and lean my head back, closing my eyes briefly before I hear my phone chime. I grab it out of the cup holder and unlock the screen. There's twenty new texts and five missed calls. All from Stiles.
~Today 7:45 AM
Where are you?
~Today 8:15 AM
Are you coming home?
~Today 8:29 AM
Why did you leave? Are you ok? Please call me.
~Today 8:35 AM
I'm worried...please call me
It goes on and on like that until the most recent text he just sent.
~Today 11:45 AM
I don't want to leave but Scott called he needs to talk to me. Please let me know you're ok...I'll come back as soon as we're done.
He's persistent, I gotta give him that. But at least he's gone, I can go home and shower and just be by myself for a while.
✦✦✦
After the longest and hottest shower ever, I still don't feel any better about the position I've put myself in. I grab the bottle of bourbon on my counter and put the music on, loud enough to drown out my thoughts. It's a good thing I have an awesome speaker system, because I need the music very loud at this point. I turn the bottle of bourbon up and try to forget about everything for a little while. I like to listen to rap when I get drunk, it's my thing.
I let the beat flow through me as I bounce around, spouting off line after line. I've gone through half the bottle of liquor already, my mind not able to focus on anything but the music blaring in my ears.
"Now what clan you know wit lines this ill? Bust shots at Big Ben like you got time ta kill," my drunken rap skills are on point. As I'm halfway through the verse, I hear a faint knock at my door. I shake my head and grab the remote, turning the music up louder. The knocking gets louder. "GO AWAY!" I yell over the thumping bass.
"Open the DOOR!" I can just make out Derek's voice over the profanities coming out of my speakers.
"NO!" I scream like a petulant child and take another long swig out of my bottle.
My phone rings and I tap the screen, "What?"
"If you don't open the door, I'm going to break it down," Derek's tone is eerily calm and frankly a little scary.
I stomp across the living room and unlock the door, swinging it open widely. "Whaaat?" I groan. Derek narrows his eyes at me and pushes past me, uninvited.
"Um, 'scuse you, I didn't say you could come...in," my words slur as I try to look as intimidating as I can in my state.
"Are you drunk?" He grabs the half empty bottle off the coffee table and the remote to turn down the music.
"Jus' a lil," I shrug my shoulders.
"It's not even one o'clock in the afternoon! What's going on?" His eyes full of concern.
"Nothin, I'm fine," I scoff and walk to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.
"No, you're not. What happened?" He places both hands on the island and leans forward.
"Well, le's see. I had sex...with Stuart...who has feelings for me...and I think I may have feelings for him. Then I had sex with Stilesss last night and I think...I might be in love with him," I blurt out in a drunken rant.
Derek raises his eyebrows, a shocked expression on his face. Clearly he wasn't expecting me to confess so easily.
"I'm a fuckin' mess, I freaked out this morning when I woke up and Stilesss was beside me and I ran. Like, I li'erlly drove to the r'serve and ran like twen'y miles. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't want to hurt e'ther of them," I bury my face in my hands and groan.
"Well," is all Derek can say.
"What did I do?" I wail.
Derek moves around the counter and wraps his arms around me. I collapse against his chest, just enjoying the feeling of his comfort. He just holds me as I try to calm down.
"You got yourself in deep," he mumbles as he places a soft kiss against my hair. "But, you have to go with your heart. Do what makes you happy."
"I don't have a heart," I say grumpily.
Derek laughs and groans a frustrated sigh. "You are one of the most infuriating, impatient, hard headed women I have ever met in my entire life. But...you have one of the biggest hearts I've ever seen. You always put other people first. You're always concerned for other people's safety more than your own. But sometimes you really need to put yourself first." He holds me at arm's length to look into my eyes.
A single tear breaks away and slides down my cheek and Derek catches it with his thumb, smiling softly.
"Go with my heart, huh?" I take a deep breath.
"Yup," he nods. "And no more day drinking," he scolds me like a child.
"Fine," I roll my eyes. "Wait, why you here anyways?"
"Stiles sent me, he hadn't heard from you all morning. He's really worried about you," his mouth forms a thin line.
"I need to talk to both of them. But I need jus' a lil more time. Can you help me?" I plead.
"I'll help you, I can give you until tomorrow, but then you need to talk to them," Derek rubs my arm soothingly.
"Thank you," I hug him and he squeezes me gently.
✦✦✦
I text both Stiles and Stuart to come over so we can have this inevitable, heartbreaking discussion. I'm a wreck, almost shaking my nerves are so shot. I almost jump out of my skin when I hear the soft knock at my door.
I open it to find them looking so confused as they look at each other and then at me. I step aside to let them in and take a deep breath as I close the door, ready to face them both.
"So, I asked you both to come over because we have to figure some stuff out," I ring my hands together nervously. "I have feelings for both of you. I don't want to hurt either of you, but we can't continue in this awkward...whatever the hell this is," I wave my hands.  "At first I thought it was just about sex. Both of you saw me differently after the other night in the club. Things happened. And now, here we are."
"Wait...did you two sleep together?" Stuart looks from me to Stiles, his brow furrowed in anger.
"Yes, we did," Stiles answers before I can. "And I have feelings for you too," he looks into my eyes and takes a step toward me, he looks so vulnerable.
"Did you at least wait until the bed was cold? Or did you fuck him right after I left the other night?" Stuart seethes.
"No! Stuart, of course not!" I'm hurt by his accusation.
"Hey! Watch it!" Stiles points his finger at his brother.
"Fuck you!" Stuart points back at Stiles. "And you," he glares at me. "You were just an easy fuck, that's all."
I freeze in complete shock and Stiles swings.
"Stop!" I yell and grab Stiles, pushing him away from Stuart.
"Don't you fucking talk to her like that!" Stiles screams, his face turning red as the anger boils inside him.
"Stuart, I'm so sorry," I cry and he looks into my eyes, reading that I've made my decision.
"No, I'm sorry," he mutters and walks to the door.
"Stay here, please?" I place my hand on Stiles' heaving chest.
"But..." Confusion flashes across his face.
"Please!" I beg and run to the door, hoping to catch Stuart before he's gone too far.
Stuart is leaned against the wall, his head hung.
"Stuart," I say softly and his head raises slowly, his eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"I'm sorry," he whispers.
I wrap my arms around his waist, my head resting on his shoulder. "You lied," I mumble against him.
"I had to," his arms wrap around me and he squeezes me tight against him. "He can't know how I really feel, it's for the best." He gently pushes me back and cups my face in his hands. "You love him...he loves you," he smiles sadly. "I don't want to get in the way, I want you both to be happy. You'll be happy with him," he brushes the tears from my face. "I love you enough to let you go."
I pull him close again, crying into the crook of his neck. "I do love you, Stuart."
"I know, but you love him more," he strokes my hair and softly kisses my head. "I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all." Stuart holds me, letting me cry against his shoulder. "Now," he pushes me away again and wipes away my fresh tears. "Go, tell him," he places a soft kiss on my cheek and turns to walk down the stairs.
My heart breaks as I watch him walk away, but at the same time it's like a weight has been lifted. Stuart sacrificed his love for me so his brother and I could be happy, together. I smile through my tears as I let myself feel everything that I've been trying to push down. I'm in love with Stiles.
I wipe my face and take a deep, steady breath and open the door. Stiles is sitting on the couch, his knee bouncing anxiously. He looks up as I close the door and he's on his feet, pulling me into his arms.
"I'm so sorry," he says as he rubs my back.
"It's okay, we're fine," I pull back to look into those beautiful brown eyes.
"He shouldn't have said what he did, that was way over the line," he slips his hand under my ear, his thumb brushing against my cheek.
"Stiles, it's okay, really. I talked to him, everything is good," I smile shyly.
"Okay?" He seems confused so I try to turn the conversation.
"Yes, but we still need to talk," I bite my lip nervously and look down. I know how I feel, but I still don't know if he feels the same. "Stiles, I-"
"Iloveyou," he blurts out and I snap my head up to look into his eyes.
"What?" I whisper, not trusting my voice.
"I. Love. You. So goddamn much, it scares me," he takes a shaky breath. "When I woke up the other morning and you weren't there, I flipped out. You wouldn't answer my calls or texts, I thought maybe you regretted what happened. It scared the shit outta me. That was the best night of my life. I was going to tell you but-"
"I ran away," I lower my head in shame. He hooks his fingers under my chin to make me look at him. "I'm sorry, I freaked out. It scared me. I didn't know what to do," my eyes start to water again. "I'm so in love with you," I whisper, my breath hitching in my throat.
Stiles smiles before pressing his lips to mine. I wrap my hands around his neck to pull him closer, his arm snaking around my waist. It's soft and gentle, his tongue slides against mine and I softly moan. His hands grip my hips firmly as I run my hands through his hair. A wave of heat washes over me, my body tingling under his touch.
Stiles loves me. I didn't think I could feel any happier than I do in this moment. He's mine.
I smile against his lips, not able to contain my happiness. "What?" He smiles right back.
"You loooove me," I laugh, kissing across his jawline and down his neck.
"Oh..." he moans as I softly bite his neck. "God, I do. So much." He growls as he tangles his hand in my hair.
"Stiles," I glide my tongue across his chin and he hums in response. "I need you," I palm him through his jeans and he sucks in a deep breath. His hands move around to my ass, squeezing firmly, making my hips buck into his. He reaches down to the back of my thighs and lifts me effortlessly, making me squeal in surprise as I wrap my legs around his waist.
I look down into those eyes and his gaze is full of love. "Make love to me," I whisper, lightly brushing my lips against his.

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