Girl of Never : Days to Love (Chat MD Series #4)

Day 362 : Three words

Three words
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A heart was beating close to my ears. Someone's breathing in sync with mine. And I felt warm. I was being held by steady arms.

I heard a loud roll of thunder from afar and slowly opened my eyes.

It was dark and my eyes adjusted slowly. When it did, I raised my eyes at Harry's sleeping face. I was clutching at his fleece sweatshirt like a gecko.

Mukhang hindi siya nakaalis sa tabi ko kahit nang makatulog na 'ko. Kinapa ko ang cellphone ko sa ulunan at nag-check ng oras.

It was two thirty in the morning.

Thunders cracked again. Hinigit akong lalo ni Harry palapit sa katawan niya at masuyong hinaplos ang likod ko. Parang inaalo ako. He hushed me with a thick, sleepy voice.

"It's okay..." he whispered.

Tumitig ako sa mukha niya. Malalim ang paghinga niya sa pagtulog, habang patuloy ang kamay niya sa marahang paghaplos. Itinaas ko ang palad ko para haplusin sana ang pisngi niya, but I refrained. Ayoko siyang magising.

I contented myself with looking at him—at his long eyelashes, at his slightly parted lips, at the high bridge of his nose. He looked worthy of a kiss. He looked like he belonged on this side of my bed.

Is it okay to claim that a man as beautiful as him belongs to me? Is it okay to want to belong to him, too?

I sighed. Parang hindi ako makakatulog uli hangga't hindi ko nasasabi sa kanyang mahal ko siya.

I composed an entry in my journal before opening my social media account. Binasa ko uli 'yung mga status ni Harry na naka-tag ako. This guy is not just persistent. Ang kulit din niya sa segue. Parang kaya niya 'kong idamay sa lahat ng status niya.

His bio even said : Manliligaw ni Aling Jia.

Gusto ko siyang sagutin pero hindi ko alam kung pa'no. Should I just tell him I love him in a status while he sleeps like this?

I should, right? As his reward for watching a sky of lightning with him; for reassuring me that I got him.

I composed a status and tagged him.

I love you, Harry.
(Ganito ba sumagot, Kamahalan?)

I heard his phone beep as soon as I posted my status. Pero hindi nagising si Harry.

Mag-flood post kaya ako na naka-tag siya? Bawi man lang sa lahat ng tags niya sa'kin.

I tried thinking of a post to tag him but nothing worthy came to mind. Ang mga naiisip ko, hindi kakulitan kundi puro confession-type. Baka magmukhang ako 'yung nanliligaw. Gosh.

Ang tagal kong nag-browse sa mga poetry sites, quotation sites, at kahit sarcasm sites. Pero wala akong pwedeng i-share at i-tag na quote o excerpt sa kanya na hindi pambobola ang dating.

Tumitig ako sa natutulog na mukha ni Harry habang natatawa na naaawa sa sarili ko. He's better than me at this.

I am not verbose. I have an unreliable wit with matters like this. I don't know how courting nor dating works. I don't know the rules. I don't know the guidelines.

So, I gave up thinking of a witty post to tell him about what I feel. There's no other way around this but to be honest.

I composed another post.

I don't know how this works or if there are rules I shouldn't be breaking. I don't know what loving too much means (is it measurable?). I don't know what's proper or appropriate (if there are such things). Heck, I don't even know what will happen next once you read this (I mean, tapos na ba ang ligaw at pwede ko na bang buksan yung box sa living room?). I just love you with all that I am, with all of its truths, and all of its pains.