Start Again

Chapter Thirty-Three

I couldn't hear what Joon Soo was saying, but my heart ached nonetheless to think of him at the other side of that phone. I missed him terribly, but who did I miss? The memory of the guy I fell in love with? Or the person himself who did not want to be there for me?

"Do you not get how horribly she was treated by Adam? Why make her feel the same way? I thought you were better than that. I thought—"

She was silent for a while, most likely cut off by Joon Soo. I could see the vein grow further out of her head, ready to burst as he spoke.

"Are you kidding me?" she shrieked. "I spent the whole night with a crying Audrey and she finally tells me what the issue is. She was planning to go through this alone! I am so glad I finally got it out of her. Tell me, Park Joon Soo, do you remember your health classes?"

She was quiet, letting him speak.

"Do you not remember what your teachers, or even your parents, told you what happens when you do those things with the opposite gender? Audrey is pregnant."

I yanked the phone out of her hand. "Don't listen to her, Joon Soo. She's wrong."

"Audrey? Audrey talk to me."

I ended the call and turned her phone off.

"Why did you do that?" Hye Ri asked.

"He didn't want to know in the first place so now he doesn't get to know. I'm doing this without him. Will you help me?"

Hye Ri's eyes welled up with tears. "You shouldn't have to go through this alone. But of course I will be here for you."

*

When I got back later that night after booking my abortion and running a few errands, I came home to a confused Hye Ri.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Joon Soo came by whilst you were out. He thought you were here so he said some things."

"What did he say?"

She bit her lip.

"Hye Ri, what did he say?"

"I'm not sure if I should tell you. What if he's just saying these things to lure you in and hurt you again? What if he doesn't mean those words?"

"Hye Ri."

"He apologised..."

"And?"

"And... and he said that he will be better if you give him another chance."

I let out a sigh. "How many chances have I given him? How many talks do we have to have? It's fine. He will forget me soon enough then we can both move on from this silly mistake. We were too caught up in the moment of everything we forgot to actually think about the logistics of a relationship. I just feel bad to have taken something so important from him."

"What's that?"

"His first itme."

"Oh, Audrey. You're not blaming yourself for any of this, are you?"

I shrugged. "I knew I was dating an adult, but I expected a child's relationship. It's my fault we are apart because I can't handle how busy he is. And even if I recognise my error, we can't build a relationship at this point in his career, so there is no point making up. He's a great guy, but the timing just isn't working for us. We're not meant to be."