Fixing Him (A Troyler Fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

vii. •Troye•

vii. •Troye•

I layed on Tyler's bed in the hotel with him. We were both silent, not daring to say a word and break the peaceful silence. I was wearing one of Tyler's sweatshirts and honestly, I don't think he was going to get it bad. It was really comfortable first of all, and to make it a plus it smelled like him which made me never want to take it off.

We were snuggled up together and I realized I was.. not sad. Or suicidal. I didn't know how long it was going to last, but I was happy it lasted as long as I was with Tyler. I understood that Tyler was eventually going to have to go back to LA and I Australia, but it was a topic I really didn't want to think about.

Suddenly, Tyler mumbled a quiet "Troye?"

"Why did you start?"

I obviously knew he was talking about the cuts. I bit my lip.

"You don't have to tell me."

"No, no I want to. I- I was gay. Well obviously. But no one knew other than my family and Kayla. And I tried to hide it and tried to make it look like I liked girls and everything... But, nonetheless I still liked boys. I told one of my guy friends and he made fun of me and made practically the whole school hate me apart from a few kids. There were false rumors and I already had anxiety and so it made my depression that much worse. I'd heard about people doing it when I was in health and how there was self awareness or whatever and I thought I'd give it a try and I haven't stopped ever since."

"I'm sorry, love." He frowned, obviously in deep thought.

"You want to know why I still do it?"

"If you don't mind telling me."

"If you don't already know, I get a lot of hate. I mean, I'm never gonna get anywhere, right?" I said, tears brimming in my eyes, "It brings me down, more than anyone could imagine. And I know you get a lot of hate too, much more than me, and you just brush it off, but honestly I don't know how you do it because whenever I see hate all I want to do is curl up in a ball and die because it makes me hate myself more than I already do."

I realized I was staring at the ceiling as I told the story. Right after I finished, he pulled me into the biggest hug ever.

"Look at me. You are worth it. You're one of the greatest people I've ever known, to be honest. The fact that this happened to you makes me murderous and I swear to god I won't let anything like that happen to you ever again. And yeah I get hate. And it does bring me down every once and awhile. But people hate on me when I express my happiness and I've told myself that if you're happy, you shouldn't give a damn what anyone else thinks. I've gone through a really depressing time in my life and now I grow from it. I look back and I'm like, 'Just ignore it and be happy.' I know that's hard for you right now and I'll always be here, no matter what. "

I sobbed on his shoulder as we held each other and I realized how much I loved him and how lucky I was that he loved me as well.

"Troye, people must be wondering where we are, all they know is I ran away looking for you."

"Oh shit. Tell them I - I don't know!"

"Hm, wait I got it!"

"What?"

"Say you were skyping Kayla? Panera! Say you were at Panera!"

"You're a genius," I grinned.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

"So you're expecting me to believe that Troye was casually skyping in Panera when Caspar and Marcus were there and clearly didn't see him?" Zoe asked, rolling her eyes.

"Yes!"

"Tyler, when I saw you in Troye's room, I thought you were going to have an emotional breakdown."

"I- I was. I just couldn't find him anywhere and I was worried that something could have happened to him! I don't want anything to happen to this cute little twink." Tyler put his arm over my shoulder and I rolled my eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay, Troye?" Zoe asked me, obviously worried.

"I'm fine, I was just skyping Kayla!"

"Allllriight. I'll leave it. Come here boys, group hug."

As we hugged she whispered to me, "Text me, I want the whole story." I met her glance and then quickly looked away and I knew that somehow or other she was going to find out.

After we broke apart, Tyler's phone rang. After he answered it and returned, he told us he needed a meeting to go to while rolling his eyes. He gave Zoe a hug and then gave me a hug while whispering, "I'll see you tonight, right?"

I responded with an, "Of course," and Tyler was on his way.

Right after he left, Zoe said, "Tell me. Right now. The full story. Go."

"I was skyping Kayla."

"You and I both know that's bullshit."

"But it's true."

"You know, you're an awful liar."

I sighed, Zoe was relentless.

"Tell me Troye."

"You're gonna think I'm gross."

"Troye, I promise I won't."

"I don't know where to start."

"Start from the begininning."

"I don't know."

"You can trust me, I promise."

"You promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Of course, Troye."

The first thing I did was roll up my sleeve to reveal the fresh cuts of the previous day.

She gasped and ran over to hug me, "Troye, I-"

"No, it's fine. Anyway, Tyler found me unconscious and I was bleeding everywhere and yeah that's what happened."

"Troye, I'm so sorry, I feel like such a bitch now..." She said, but I know she was just curious.

"Zoe, really, it's fine. Just don't tell anyone? Please?"

"I won't. Not even Alfie."

I raised my eyebrow, questioningly, "Why's Alfie different than anyone else?"

"Oh my god, Troye! I- we're I- Ask Tyler! I can't tell you, I already told him and I promised! I - tell him I told you! To ask him!"

"Umm, okay?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Yeah, do that. I need a minute, I don't wanna give myself a panic attack." She was freaking.

"Just, Troye?" She asked, still a little panicky.

"I don't know what makes you so upset all the time, but just know I'm always here if you ever wanna talk, okay?"

I smiled, "Thanks Zoe."

A/N: Thanks so much for reading!!! It means so much and I'm so happy you guys are liking this fanfic :D So vote and comment and well you know what to do hahah