Alliance// SOA FANFIC

Chapter Fifteen: A Snag In The Fairytale

"I am not sure about much anymore, Jax. All I know is that I love you and I love Abel and to keep you in my life—I needed to leave the MC. I want to keep who I am, and if I had stayed, I would have died. I am happy being your wife, Jax, and if that means stepping back and out of the only life I knew—then that is what I am gonna do. I don't want that life anymore—I want this life." She said, Jax pulling her to him for a kiss, his hands cupping her face as he had never felt so loved in life.

"I love you—Jesus Christ baby—no one has ever done anything like this for me. I mean what can I possibly give you now, that will even come close." Jax smiled as he kissed Eva once again, his heart swelling as all the anger he felt that day left his mind and body completely.

"Oh, I don't know Jax, how about a baby?" She smiled, Jax smiling huge as his eyes lit up and he pulled her in closer.

"Oh baby, I can do that." He said as he pulled her in for a kiss once again, his family finally coming together, the family he always hoped and dreamed for. Jax knew in his heart he didn't deserve a woman like Eva, but he was going to do everything he could to make her happy.

                         ***

                      FIVE MONTHS LATER

"I looked over your tests and your scans and Mrs. Teller, it looks like your body isn't ovulating like it should. You mentioned you were addicted to drugs at birth, that might have something to do with it. We have seen many cases of infertility in woman who were born drug addicted, but there is a small hope that IVF will help in conception. Your uterus however isn't in the best of shape, making your chances of conception only about 15 percent." The doctor said, Eva's world slowly crashing down around her as the news hit her like a ton of bricks.

She bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back the tears, her eyes looking over at Jax. His eyes were full of sorrow as he looked over at her, his hand clasped tightly in hers. Eva was prepared for everything, except hearing that it would be nearly impossible for her to get pregnant. She was sure she was fertile since she had her period regularly, but then again, she had never tried to have a baby before.

She felt like she was being punished for all she had done in the past, all the wrongs she had caused and the lives she had torn apart. She felt crushed and just wanted to be alone, the news still feeling like she was part of some horrible dream. She thanked the Doctor and left his office, tears finally bursting down her cheeks as they made it to Jax's bike.

"I'm so sorry, babe." He whispered as he held her close, tears filling his eyes as he felt her pain wash over him like crashing wave into the sand. He knew how much she wanted a child of her own, and now that dream was burned out like a light. There was a chance, but a low chance at her happiness, a chance he still wanted to take.

"Should I say sorry to you? I feel like I failed you." Eva asked as she looked up at Jax, his thumbs brushing away the tears from her eyes as he gently smiled at her. She smiled as he kissed the top of her head, her body relaxing into his as they held each other.

"Don't you dare say sorry to me, darlin, don't you dare." He whispered as his hand ran through her hair, the shaking of her body making his heart break over again. He wanted more than anything to give her what she wanted, but he knew there was only a slim chance. "Come on, let's go home." Jax suggested, his brow furrowing as Eva pulled from him.

"If it's okay, Jax—I'm gonna go for a walk. I just need to clear my head and be alone for a bit." Jax nodded his head, knowing full well that when Eva needed time, she needed to be alone. He wasn't going to fight it, or convince her otherwise. He needed to get back to the club and sort out the business of muling coke, something that he wasn't on board with.

"Just call me, when you are ready." He said as he kissed Eva on the lips once more before slipping on his bike. Eva watched him pull away, her hand pulling her purse higher on her shoulder before she turned and walked the other way.

So much had happened in such a short time, so much that it was making Eva feel as if she herself was going insane. Her mind was never shut down and sleep was almost impossible most nights. She felt lost and scared, fearing the future and its dark uncertainty. She wiped a tear from her eyes as she knew her legs were taking her someplace she didn't need to go.

She walked for two miles into a part of Charming no person needed to be, except for the whores and druggies. She walked up to a white house, the same house she had heard a few of the Croweaters talk about. Inside that house was the worst possible answer for her issues, but it was an answer.

She needed to escape and not feel like she was being torn to shreds from the inside out. She wanted to forget that she had left her family, and that the father who had raised her to hate the man she loved was not her real father. She knew who her real father was, his name was in black and white on her birth certificate, but she was not going to confront that issue until her mind was clear.

She knocked on the door and walked inside the moment it opened. The house smelled rancid and the floor was covered in beer bottles, dried puke and god knew what else. She walked into a large room with four TV's and nearly 10 people all of them looking at her strangely.

"Well, seems we have Charming royalty here today, what I can help Jax Tellers wife with?" The young Hispanic asked with a smile as motioned to the assortment of drugs on the table. She pulled out 20$ and set it on the table, the man slipping her a small bag of heroin.

"This never happened, and if you tell a soul everyone in this room disappears. Understand?" She asked as she slipped the small bag into her pants. She left the house, making sure no one recognized her as she quickly walked to the nearby drug store for her supplies. She hid everything in her purse and called Jax, the guilt rising inside her since she knew Jax would be devastated if he found out.

That night she locked herself in the bathroom, preparing the drugs as she opened the fresh needle. She had done this before, over a decade before. Her body was shaking and tears filled her eyes as she slipped Jax's belt over her arm. The moment the drugs hit her system her body began to tingle; her eyes became heavy and her mind finally clear.

She dropped the needle to the floor and went limp as she dropped hard to the floor. She heard her name being called in the distance, followed by banging on the door. The last thing she saw was Jax screaming in her face, the world around her going dark and silent.

 This chapter was hard to write because I myself am a recovering Drug addict, I have been clean for over ten years and I just hope that everyone reading this chapter knows that drugs are never the answer..