Girl of Never : Days to Love (Chat MD Series #4)

Day 143 : Drunk and sober

"Sa convenience store. Ikaw?"

"Kumain na kanina. Maraming iniwang pagkain sina Jeric at Helga."

Natahimik kami.

Humarap ako kay Harry at tumitig. "Sorry for disturbing you. Wala lang akong mapuntahan tonight."

"It's okay."

"Baka may plano ka o mga gagawin... just continue on."

Nagbuga siya ng hangin. "Are you really okay? You look—"

"Medyo pagod lang," una ko at matipid na ngumiti. "Pwede nang makitulog?"

"Yeah."

Nagpatiuna siya sa ikalawang palapag, sa kwarto na tinulugan namin ni Helga. Nakasunod ako.

"May naiwang damit diyan si Kulit if you want to wash up or change clothes," sabi niya nang buksan ang pinto.

"Okay."

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

"Okay."

I won't be needing anything because he couldn't give it.

Nakatitig si Harry sa'kin. Hindi ko tuloy maisara ang pinto.

"Ano pa po, Kamahalan?" untag ko.

"I won't be sleeping anytime soon so if you need anything..."

"I'll tell you," tapos ko sa sasabihin niya.

"Yeah."

Kunot na kunot ang noo niya. Nawiwirduhan siguro sa'kin.

"Goodnight, Harry," sabi ko, tipid na ngumiti at isinara ang pinto. Sumandal ako ro'n at pinakinggan ang magiging yabag niya palayo. But the minutes ticked and he was not walking away.

What is he waiting for this time? Bakit nakatayo lang siya sa labas ng pinto?

Habang nagtatagal na wala akong naririnig na pagkilos niya para umalis, bumibigat lalo ang dibdib ko. Umiinit ang mata ko at nahihirapan akong huminga. Before I could contain the weight in my chest, my tears fell. Kinagat ko ang labi ko para hindi ako marinig.

I heard him walked away.

***
Mugto na ang mata ko sa pag-iyak pagdating ng hatinggabi. I felt terrible while on the bed. Christmas is a terrible season. It makes me feel more alone than any other day in the year.

By two in the morning, I got out of bed and tiptoed downstairs. Malamya ang mga floorlamp na nakabukas. I don't see Harry anywhere.

I went directly to the fridge in the kitchen to check for alcohol. I figured I should drink to fall asleep. I took a pack of beer with me.

Pagdaan ko sa dining table, napansin kong may pagkaing nakahanda—for one. There's pasta, salad, pie, and bite-size sugar cookies. May maliit na chocolate cake with a note : In case you get hungry. Merry Christmas, Jianna.

I instantly felt the urge to cry.

What the hell am I thinking? I should have celebrated Christmas with him. Why didn't I?

Nagpunta ako sa harap ng kwarto niya at nakiramdam. Wala akong naririnig na paggalaw. Instead of knocking, I went back to the dining table.

I'm hungry. He prepared this for me so I should eat. Itinabi ko 'yung note na ginawa niya para sa'kin and started with the pasta. Tinikman ko lahat ng nakahanda habang umiinom ng beer.

After an hour, I was feeling sleepy. Or... was I? Dumuduyan ba ang paligid dahil inaantok ako o dahil sa beer?

I tried getting up from my seat but the floor under my feet was uneven. On my nth try to stand, naramdaman ko ang palad ni Harry sa likod ko. Masama kong tiningnan ang braso niya.