Keeping it Professional

Chapter 34

It had been six weeks since Emma told Killian about the baby that was expected. But, that was when everything was going to fall apart. Emma woke up grunting in pain around three in the morning. Her stomach and lower back sent stabbing, shooting pains throughout her whole body. Their doctor's appointment wasn't for another week, and that was what worried Emma. She tried to ignore the pain, but with every passing minute, the pain only got worse. She shook Killian's arm and he started to stir, but wasn't fully awake.

"Five more minutes, love." He mumbled before turning over.

"Killian, something's wrong." She said, and he sat up on his elbows.

"What?"

"The baby. Something's wrong with the baby." She cried out in pain and he sprung up from the bed.

"Can you walk?" He asked, coming over to her side.

"I don't know." She flipped the covers back and tried to stand up, but only screamed in pain and fell forward into Killian's arms. "I don't want to lose the baby. I don't want to let her down. Don't let me lose her." She repeated over and over again. Killian grabbed both of their jackets and slipped his shoes on and grabbed a pair of sandals for Emma then took her down to the Porsche. He buckled her in and raced off to the hospital.

Once they got inside, nurses scrambled around them and rushed Emma to an exam room. Much to the couple's displeasure, Killian was forced back to wait in the lobby. It was two hours before he knew anything. And that news was worse than he could ever imagine. But, he could only guess how Emma was handling the news. She was probably more devastated than he could ever be. He walked into the room and she was curled up against her pillow.

"Swan?" He asked as he came in. He kneeled down by her head. He brushed the hair out of her face. Her eyes were closed and tear streaks were on her cheeks. "Love, it's okay. Things like this happen."

"So it's okay that I lost our baby?"

"It wasn't your fault. Of course I will miss our baby, but we have to get passed this."

"I let you down." Her voice cracked as she let out a broken sob. "I lost her."

"Her? You think our baby was going to be a girl?"

"I had a feeling." She mumbled. "I'm so sorry, Killian. I'm so so sorry!" She turned into her pillow and cried.

He pet her head. "We can try again-"

"But what if I lose that one too?"

"It's common to miscarry in the first trimester. We can just try again until we can get pregnant again."

"How can you even say that?"

He sighed. "I'm not saying we try for another baby as soon as we get home, love. All I'm saying is that maybe in a few months we can try again."

"Aren't you upset because we lost her?"

"Of course I am! I'm just being strong. For you."

"Take me home, Killian." She begged in a whisper. "Please."

He nodded and helped her out of bed. He helped her get her clothes back on and carried her out to the car. He drove home and they both went back upstairs. It was around 5:00 in the morning, and Killian knew that they were both going to stay home from work. Emma needed him right now. He could tell by the way she clung onto him and sobbed into his neck. By the way her tears hit his skin and his shirt was balled up into her fists. He hated to see his Swan so upset and broken. He'd do anything to trade her places.

"I love you, Emma." He whispered and kissed the top of her head. He could tell she was asleep by the sounds of her even breathing. He pulled the blankets up over them both, trying not to make much movement. He laid down and wrapped his arms around her. Her head laid over his heart on his chest.

Later that afternoon when he awoke, Emma was nowhere in sight. He got out of the bed and looked all over the house, but she wasn't there. Her car wasn't in the driveway either. He cursed to himself and grabbed his cell phone and dialed her number, but she didn't answer. Instead, he was sent straight to voicemail.

"Damnit, Emma, call me! I need to know if you are okay. Where the hell did you go?" He hung up and called her office number, but she didn't pick up there either. Killian wasn't sure where she would go, but he knew he would find her.

Emma left early in the morning. After she had tricked him by making him think she was asleep, she quietly slipped out of bed and grabbed some clothes and left the house. She drove to David and Mary Margaret's house and knocked on the door. Her eyes were still red and puffy. Mary Margaret was the one to open the door. Her face filled with confusion as she opened the door and let Emma in.

"What's wrong, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked. "Should I wake David?"

"No, no. If anything I need to talk to a woman." They both sat down on the couch and Mary Margaret made Emma some hot chocolate with cinnamon. "Killian and I, we were pregnant. But, I miscarried earlier this morning. Do you think it would be okay if I hung out around here for a few days? I can't see Killian. I can't face him with all this guilt I'm feeling."

"Oh, absolutely! Of course you can stay! But, I do think you need to talk to him about this."

"He said it wasn't my fault, and that miscarriages happen all the time in the first trimester, but I can't help but think that it is my fault."

"Emma, no. It's not. It's okay. I've miscarried a few times before. David and I just never told anyone because it was always too hard to talk about. We finally decided to take a break with trying to get pregnant. But, just take it easy for the next few days. You can stay in the guest room." The two women stood up and Mary Margaret hugged Emma. "If you need anything, you know we will always be right here for you."