As my eyes open I find myself in my old room in the house I used to live in previously.
Oh no.
Immediately I feel myself slipping into anxiety as I feel my heart ramming against my ribcage.
"Hello honey!" I hear her voice and the fear in me only rises until I feel myself drowning in it, yet my body can't move, I can't move. I can't control my body.
"Hello momma!" I reply even though it's not intentional, then I understand what's going on.
It's a nightmare, but more importantly, it's a memory. I am trapped in my own body. This is the 12 year old me.
I hear her stilettos hitting against the wooden flooring and I want to swallow hard to gather my pride but I don't because the me of 4 years ago didn't do that. No, he wanted the attention. He thought that meant he was special, important, more important to her than anyone else.
She goes to her room to put down her bag, her everyday routine, and then comes back to my room, opening the door and leaning against seductively as she smirks at me. She takes off her work vest, it was back when she got a good position at a famous banking corporation. She then slowly unbuttons her shirt, and I feel my cheeks heat up.
Cale you're disgusting, I think to myself.
Why did I react the way I did? Why didn't I tell her no in the first place? She unzips the side of her pencil skirt and it falls to her ankles. She steps out of it and makes her way towards me, still her heels.
She leans over me and starts to undo my shorts. A wicked and content grin on her face and I do nothing. Nothing at all.
My eyelids flash open and I sit myself up abruptly as I let out a yell in anguish. My mother's face pictured just above my shorts keeps repeating itself in my mind and I know very well what happens after that and that's what scares me even more.
I get up and head to the kitchen. I take a glass of cold water. As I rub my arm against my face I feel all the cold sweat and immediately I can sense all the sweat on my body and the cold feeling it gives me from my soaked in shirt.
A memory of my mother touching me in the kitchen of our old house flashes in my mind and immediately by reflex my grip loosens and the glass slips through my fingers as I find myself staring off in space.
---
Hey guys! I genuinely feel bad for Cale but what are your thoughts on the matter? So you think he's right to be afraid, to still have nightmares about it?
Song: Odesza - How Did I Get Here
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Flicker | ✔️
Teen Fictionflicker (noun): a situation in which a light is sometimes bright and sometimes weak: the soft flicker of candlelight in which a girl with a harsh present becomes intrigued by a boy with a difficult past ~~~ Contains themes that are considered mature...
