"...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before."
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January
She smeared the bright red lipstick over my lips stopping at the little cut from when she hit me "I'm really sorry for hitting you. I honestly don't know what came over me... I was just, so anger and you were saying all those really mean things to me..." she gently closed the tube of lipstick taking in a breath letting her head plummet.
"It's okay. We both did some messed up things" I tenderly rub my thumb across Sam's cheek placing a kiss on her forehead leaving a red mark behind causing us both to giggle. "In some weird way, I feel like it was necessary for us. It made us open up our eyes and think about how the hell we ended up at that point, ya know?" I pulled a make-up wipe out of its container rubbing the red away.
"I still shouldn't have hit you" she runs her fingers through her hair, the amount of guilt on her voice truly broke my heart. She was so genuinely hurt for hurting me, and I don't know what it's going to take to make her forgive herself. I forgive her "You're kind of strong... you lift weights?" I ask poking her biceps hoping to pick up the mood.
She had been her usual cheerful self until now and to be honest, I don't care too much about the past anymore. I just want to move forward, and for some reason, that seems really hard for her to do. She kept bringing it up, and I could tell how much it bothered her, but I needed her to realize how little it bothered me. "I think it's just from the workouts I do for the ballet" she flexes her arms with a tiny smile on her face.
"Well, you got some guns on you. Speaking of ballet, I know you're so excited because I am! Come on, finish my make-up!" I egg her up until she finally picks up the same tube of Mac lipstick; I could practically see her trying to swallow her hesitation and color the bruise. She holds it up to my lips and finishes it off "Okay, I'm all done" she looks at me peculiarly.
"You are so beautiful" she eyes me like I was a walking goddess in the flesh. She adored me; even after all we've done to each other. She still worshiped the ground I walked on. I can't believe it, and I know I don't deserve it "Go put your dress on!" she ordered before tackling the mess of makeup products she had all over the bed. "Yes, ma'am!" I grabbed the dress that lay across the seat adjacent from her bed and skipped into the bathroom. I put it on with extra caution as she told me to making sure to not to get any makeup on it. I took one look and walked out to present myself to her scrutiny.
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