"...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before."
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I watch the tears as they fell from her brown eyes effortlessly gliding down her face; reminding me of the days I used to watch her slide her paint brush down many white canvases. She bores her eyes into my skin trying to formulate all the right things to say to me. I can tell she is unable to keep her composure. She closes her eyes allowing one tear to flow after the next delicately. I was gawking at her. The little black rose petals slid down staining her radiant skin generously. Her tears weren't selfish, and one did not race nor competed with its partner. They only sway coinciding with one another. My eyes glossed over and my vision seemed to weaken from my own tears.
The air filled with a melancholy feel consuming her whole as she weeps. Her delicate hands timidly cupped my cheek as she weakly smiled. "January, no" She softly said, her voice was small. I always hated the name my no good mother gave me because she had no clue who my father was... So, her clear logic was just to name me after the month I was born. Either way, somehow my name sounded like heaven coming from her lips. She let her hands fall to her side accompanied by her eyes crashing to the ground.
"Yes! Naomi.. I'm serious. I love you. Listen to me" I pick her head up forcing her to look at me, but her eyes wouldn't cooperate. She ripped from my grip "It was just a few times... It meant nothing. I was experiencing" It felt like a ball was stuck in my throat, I repeatedly tried to swallow it. I was choking, and it seems- I couldn't breathe.
I knew this wasn't her truthfully speaking; She wanted to spend the rest of her life with me merely days ago! I made my way to her bed sitting on the edge of her rose pink sheets simultaneously fiddling with my fingers and brushing back that nagging piece of hair that wouldn't stay behind my ear. I place my hand firmly on my chest trying to pace my breathing. "But, I love you " I spoke faintly, almost inaudible.
I looked up to see her profusely shaking her head no. I watched her long black hair tossing left and right. It felt like the whole world was in slow motion and I just couldn't get a grip. Here, I was confessing to my best friend that I was in love with her and her response to me was it was all just fun and games! She awakened feeling inside of me I was waiting my whole life to feel. Now, here she was ripping my weak heart out of my chest and fucking stomping on it.
I held my eyes shut trying to fight back the urge to cry. It was like I was trying to patch a leak in a dam with paper and glue. Naomi held my heart in her hands.. she held it captive, and it could not escape the entrapment of her perfectly manicured fingers. Even at a time like this, all I could think about was how insanely beautiful she looked - even with the fragments of my heart in those shaky hands of hers. "I don't love you in that way, January" Naomi spoke with conviction, it was almost believable. I looked at her astonished, but as the flashes of our memories flew across my mind, I just couldn't fathom how what she was saying to me could even be remotely true. I looked at her again with that look I used to give her when we were kids: a look of love, of pure passion, with a sprinkle of
admiration. I wanted to scream and punch her square in her damn face. Those intoxicating memories, the dangerous things she would do to me that had me so obsessed. "Stop" I mumbled. "Stop saying it was just a phase... It wasn't. You and I both know that" I stood up from the mattress its springs rattling as it freed from my weight. I pressed myself against her slithering my hands around her neck laying slow kisses on her face. "I love you" I whisper in her ear, trailing my kisses to her mouth. "STOP!" She pleads trying to push me off of her. She gave me a hard shove leaving me dumbfounded and frozen in place with this kind of deer-stuck-in-headlights expression.
I collapsed to my knees running my hands up her thighs pushing her against the dresser. I quickly unbuckled her belt and undid her pants; the more she pushed the harder I came back. It didn't take much to get her jeans at her ankles "January, no" I pulled her lace thong down going for the kill. She was pushing on my head "you know you want it" I pull her onto the floor. "Don't you like it rough, Naomi... You remember telling me how I need to take charge more, uh? Be more aggressive?" I yanked her pants and underwear all the way off pushing her legs as far apart as they can go shoving my face into her vagina.
I stab my tongue inside of her licking up and down getting as much of her in my mouth as I possibly could. I knew she liked it as the little noises she was making was real indications. When I took a finger and slid it inside of her, her head fell back causing her to curse under her breath. I suck and prod in a continuous motion, up and down, in and out as her body staggers on the floor. She pushed her body harder against my mouth, and this was when I knew she was putty in my hands. I stick a second finger in her going deeper and harder.
She's holding on for dear life as her hands come down ripping my hair out my scalp. Now, I just want to torture her. I stick a third finger in, sucking on her clit causing her legs to flap around as she squirms. She whimpers as her ass rises off the ground and her body tenses and pulsates around my fingers. It wasn't long before she was screaming soaking us both. I pull out sucking the juices off my fingers. "You can't leave me, Naomi. I won't let you... Baby, I love you" I climb on top of her kissing her like it was the last kiss.. something told me it was. "I love you too, I love you too" she cried wrapping her body around me. "I know."
