LASCIVIOUS

Chapter 1: Five Years Later

I pushed my key into the knob and twisted it opening the door. "SURPRISE!" I jumped clenching my chest. I push air to pass my lips letting out a sad sigh. I was not in any mood to celebrate... "Is there a reason you all are trying to give me a heart attack?" I place my bag down on the floor ignoring what I already knew. 

I look around to see my relatives all gather around in party attire. Party decorations all about, vivid colors of pinks and yellows. "It's your birthday!" my aunt said pulling the coat off my shoulders before I could protest. "You're twenty-one years old" she cooed. "I can't believe my baby is of the legal age to drink" she palmed my face ready to start the waterworks. "Auntie. Just stop and besides I am not having a good day. So, if you really want to make me happy, how about each and every one of you go get me a bottle of something strong" I look around and plop on my sofa "in celebration that is!" I cross my arms. 

My aunt looked at me puzzled "is it.. ya know?" She stared at me like she was hoping I would catch on. "Is it what, Auntie?" She looked at me with this weird expression. "You know what I mean, and we can talk about it later, January. Don't ruin the party" "I wanna talk about it now! And spoil the party'? Are you serious??" I let out a chuckle. 

"I can't believe you got all these people in here who, need I add, never support us on a regular basis! You and I both work our asses off just to afford a fucking two bedroom apartment in a decent neighborhood! Ruin the party?" I stand up from the couch. "And God forbid I talk about the fact that you ripped the love of my life away from me! And yes Auntie, it is you know what! It is the fact that I'm depressed and I won't ever be the same without her. Yeah, mmhmm! Uncle Tony, Auntie Brandy, Cameron, Shaneka, you too Wallace.. and all the rest of you that brought Y'all fake asses in here like Y'all give a shit about me, just like my mother who left me to die. When I was born and left at that hospital, nobody claimed me. When I was in that group home until I was five, none of the y'all gave a shit! So, don't try to give one now" I was pointing fingers and calling everybody out. "And Auntie, you can't pray away the fact that I'm a lesbian!" SMACK! Her hand slashed across the skin of my face like a dagger with enough force to make me spin.

"My child will not be a sinner! January, this is not the life I want for you, and I will never accept it" My jaw dropped, I rubbed my face feeling the broken skin from her ridged nails, the pain sent jolts through my body. I snatched my coat from her hands and my bag off the floor "I think you might have forgotten, but I'm not your child. Fuck you!" I beam my eyes like lasers through her. "Fuck all of Y'all!" I placed my hand on the door knob. 

"I'm sorry for cursing at you... And I'm really sorry you feel that way, auntie but you can't pray this out of me" I swing the door open leaving out. I walked down the stairs pulling my jacket on and throwing my bag on my back. It was a chilly night in Miami, January the 11th. I open the door to my beat-up Honda Civic and shut it behind. It's not like I have any friends to run to.. Why couldn't you just hold your tongue? Damnit. I literally have no one to call. I scroll through the contacts on my iPhone 5 "FUCK! Who the hell am I going to call!?" I locked the screen placing my head on the steering wheel. 

Maybe I could call Samantha... Kind of a reach, things been awkward since she tried to come on to me that night. I mean she was drunk. I don't even think she's gay or bisexual or anything. Yeah.. I find her number in my phone and dial it up. "Hello?" She finally answers on the last ring. "It's me, Jan... January"

"What's up, Blue! Fancy hearing from you. Happy birthday and I know you must be trying to turn up or something" she laughs. "Well, not exactly. Where are you? I kind of need someone to talk to" I admit "I'm still at work at the bar, it's slow. Come through."

*

I struggle to push open the thick wooden door that led into Skybar. Samantha wasn't playing, it was legit 'The Walking Dead' dead in here. There were two guys at the bar, but the one with the red shirt clearly was an alcoholic the way he was mindlessly drinking drink after drink. Alcohol poisoning was the least of his worries.

That's going to be me in just a few minutes.

The bar had a hipster flair with craft cocktails & DJs always playing something alternative that nobody has ever heard of before, but it usually was wall to wall packed on a good day. I go straight to the bar where I was hoping to not see any of the other bartenders; if there even here. I just didn't feel like fake smiling and acting like everything's okay when it's not. "Blue!" Samantha's voice echoes over the empty dance floor as I approached her. Blue is the nickname Samantha gave me once we became close and I begin to tell her all the shit I went through and currently am still going through. 

She said my soul was dark indigo blue hence the nickname. "Samantha, when I tell you today has been awful. I don't even think awful is a strong enough adjective to describe this dreadful day" I pull myself onto one of the barstools. "Oh, Lord. Let me fix you a drink. Maybe that'll help" she says quickly whipping up my favorite: Raspberry Martini. I begin to tell her the events that transpired at my so-called 'surprise party.'

"You know, you never actually told me what happened to your little high school love" the belittling way she spoke of her was quite off putting. I screwed my face "She was more than a high school love, Samantha! She was- is the love of my life" she rolled her eyes. 

"Long story short, my aunt found out about us and told Naomi's parents who are extremely Catholic and well, they took her and moved all the way to Tallahassee to keep us apart and rid her of her Satanist desires" I sighed thinking about how it all went down like it was yesterday. "Damn. Very sad story, Blue but it's been five years, and she's like 7 hours away. When are you going to move on?" I knew Samantha had good intentions, but I didn't necessarily want to move on even if I knew it was the right thing to do. 

"You need to experience life, and you can experience it with me" I look at her sideways. "What are you suggesting, Sam?" I rub my temples. "I'm saying, I got a room for you at my apartment-"

"With your two other roommates? How? Where?" I completely cut her off fanning that statement away. "Well, we're actually looking for a house, and you can chip in some and get a room. We're thinking about a new scenery too."

God knows I wanna get out of the hard, violent streets of Miami. This might work. This could be my blessing.

I smiled to myself "where exactly?" Even though, anywhere is fine with me. "Tampa! We got a sister bar there so, guaranteed job for me."

"And what about a job for me?! Especially since you're talking about me chipping in."

"Don't worry! I can pick up your portion until you get on your feet. C'mon, you're a nurse. You can find a job. Old people are everywhere." I smack my lips at her, but she was speaking the truth again, as usual. I went to nursing school just to get a quick certificate so I could make a real decent amount of money legally because God knows I would sell some dope in a heartbeat! My heart was in music, though. "This could actually work, Samantha" " Don't you think I know that!" She laughs "you are right on time too! We were looking for a fourth roommate."