Chapter 5: Our Untold Story

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Alexandra  POV

I have heard it from so many people that I have encountered with. Do not say things out of your anger. When you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything. Words are sharper than the two edges sword. And all of these were true because I truly regretted what I said to him.

Ashton walked away na mas lalo ko lang ikinabahala. Saan ito pupunta? Is he going to leave me here? I have been in California for so many times I lost count but the sudden fear I felt when he left me, felt like it was like the first time I'd been away and I was so scared to get lost. Hindi ko nga alam kung dapat ko ba syang susundan o hindi. One minute, two minutes, three minutes pero wala pa rin Ashton na bumabalik. Scared and worried, I could only squat from where he left me. I wanted to cry, to say I'm sorry and run after him pero hindi ko naman kasalanan kung bakit kami nag kakaganito.

Hindi naman kasi yon ang dapat kung sasabihin pero yon ang lumabas sa bibig ko. Paano ko ba ipapaliwanag kay Ashton na hindi ako komportable sa sitwasyon namin ngayon? Paano ko ba ipapaunawa sa kanya na natatakot akong malaman ng mga tao hindi dahil sa kasal ako sa kanya kundi kung bakit ako naikasal sa kanya. How will I explain the circumstances of our marriage to the people I know, when I can't even face my own friend Cassandra? It was such a stupid childish game! At walang kahit sinong matinong tao na maniniwala doon. Ako nga, ako na yong taong ikinasal, until now hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala that I got married because of a truth or dare game!

"Sumakay ka na." Kaagad akong napa tingala sa nag salita. He was standing in front of me with his cold eyes stare and I don't want to move. "Kung ayaw mo akong maka sabay, take this cab and I'll take another cab."

"No it's fine." He didn't say a word and just opened the door. Habang lulan ng taxi ay wala kaming kibuan. He was silent with his thoughts and so do I. I mean, ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin sa kanya?

Pag dating namin sa bahay nina Paul ay wala ang mga ito na talaga namang ipinag papasalamat ko. How will I face Cassandra after that so called marriage? Katulad ng nakasanayan ay nag kanya kanya kaming pasok sa aming mga kwarto. Ashton never said any words until dinner time. Ayoko pa sanang kumain pero talagang nagugutom na ako, isa pa, donuts lang ang huli kong kinain kanina.

Lihim akong mapabuntong hininga, our marriage wasn't supposed to happened but it did and somehow I never regret marrying him but what's next? Hindi ko napansin na wala sa isipan kong napahawak na pala ako sa akin wedding ring, I look at it with so much bitterness. The circle of infinity, the bond of marriage.

Ano nga ulit ang isinumpa ko sa harap ng pari? To love and to hold till death do us apart. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, I believe that whoever God has put together, let no man asunder but could I count our own marriage?

"Pwede mo na yang itapon kung gusto mo. It's just a freebie anyway." Gustong tumaas ng kilay ko sa sinabi nya but I held myself and my tongue.

"It's a 24 karat gold. Bakit ko naman gagawin yon?"

"It's like you can't afford something like that. Besides, ano naman ang gagawin mo dyan? Baka nakakalimotan mo, it's your wedding ring." Is he trying to bait me into having another fight with him again? Another challenge perhaps?

"Tama ka, it's my wedding ring, so bakit ko ito itatapon?" Kunot noo kong tanong sa kanya. Hindi pa ba sya napapagod sa away bati naming pag sasama?

"That's so ridiculous Alexandra. Baka nakakalimotan mo na ako ang pinakasalan mo? Why would you keep something that is coming from me?" Before he could hide it, I saw it already. It was so clear, like the moon in the dark evening sky, his eyes could never lie to me. His insecurities of being a panda whenever I am around.

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