night changes

twenty-three

Flashback

"Keir, you have to tell him." Madison looked at me with pleading eyes. She was urging me to do the right thing but I just couldn't see telling him, he would only deny it.

This was all a big mistake. I should have known better then to be hooking up, but that was the thing; trouble follows me. It's never far behind, like it is my partner. I should have saw this one coming from a mile away but I always told myself it wouldn't happen to me. Those things didn't happen to me, they happened to others.

"Madison I can't." I stressed looking down at my swollen belly that had resulted from my poor life choices. I felt like a planet walking around with my 9 month pregnant stomach.

"He has the right to know Keira, it's his baby too." The baby would come any day now and that thought alone terrified me. My life was more like a mess rather then someone's life. Now looking down at my belly I realized that more then ever.

"I can't deal with all of this!" I was stressed out and afraid. I was deathly afraid of my parents, to the point I couldn't even talk about it.

"I'm sorry to break it to you honey, but the baby is on its way whether you like it or not. It's not just your life you have to worry about now." Madison said unfolding her arms as I looked up from my bulging stomach that was about ready to pop. "Yeah I'm sorry about the circumstances that this happened but at some point you need to pick yourself up and realize this is happening! There are real consequences to your actions and maybe you'll understand that now but, you need to deal with this because you are out of time."

Madison brought me to a revelation, snapping me into reality. I had been wallowing in self pity for months now and I needed to stop. I had to deal with what this was at hand. Rubbing the top of my belly I moved my hand down to where I felt a little kick against my stomach.

Sighing in deeply I looked back at Madison who still stood her ground. She was someone who told you the things you didn't want to hear, she told you straight up what you needed to hear but didn't want to.

"You're right." I nodded keeping my hand where my little baby kicked away at me. The baby did this whenever I was upset or unhappy it always seemed to do this.

I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, in all honestly I didn't want to know. At first I was unattached and planned on taking the easy way out. I was unfit to be a mother and didn't want to bring up a child in these circumstances. However I couldn't go through with aborting the life blooming inside of me, I could never forgive myself if I went through with that.

I kept the gender unknown because I wasn't yet sure if I was going to keep the baby or not. If I didn't, I would rather not know anything about him or her; I wanted it delivered and sent out of my sight. However, now I wasn't sure on my decision. I was still on the board of what I was going to do. I was lost with no one to turn to.

"I need to get my life in order, I'm a complete and utter mess...." I trailed grasping onto my stomach, feeling a sharp pain.

"Keira?" Madison came closer to me when I looked down to see a trickle of water flow down my leg on puddle onto the floor.

"Holy shit!" I slapped a hand over my mouth staring at the puddle that sat right below me. A surge of anxiety igniting inside me as I kept my eyes concentrated on it.