five

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After I had sworn Gemma to secrecy about the whole baby thing she soon left for class. Gemma attended NYU just like the boys and I, she came to every lacrosse game we played.

"So what are you going to do with him?" Liam asked once Gemma had gone. Although my plans weren't firm I knew that Asher could not stay here, he deserved someone that could take better care of him. If the police could find his mother that would be even better, even though she was the one that dropped him off to me in the first place.

Holding him in my arms he curled his finger around my ring when he grabbed hold of on my free hand. Taking a tight grasp around it my heart broke a little inside knowing that I wasn't going to see him after tomorrow. I planned to take him down to the police station tomorrow morning first thing.

"I'm taking him down to the police station first thing tomorrow morning." I answered still looking at those innocent blue eyes that looked back at me with oblivion.

"You're sure about that?" Liam asked as I sat next to him on the couch with Asher in my arms. He was so tiny and barely weighed a thing, how could his mother just leave him like she did?

"What else am I supposed to do? I can't keep him." I shook my head turning my sights to Liam who was also looking at the small baby.

"Says who? He's your baby, no one is asking you to give him up."

"I can't give him the life he deserves, I can't give him the things that he needs. I can't be a dad! I'm a freshman in college!" Feeling a wet sensation over my finger I looked down to see Asher was sucking on my finger he had been previously holding.

"All he needs is his dad and last I checked that's you. Anyways I'll support you whatever you decided to do mate." Liam stood up patting my shoulder before grabbing his keys.

"Where are you going?" I asked him curious of his whereabouts. I had also noticed Louis had bolted for class, not even giving a goodbye to Liam and I.

"I've got a study session with this girl Chelsea! Girls a total babe! I should be back around dinner." Liam responded and quickly shut the door behind him before I could get a word out edge wise. He didn't want to run the risk of me doing what Louis and I had done last night to him, leaving him alone with the baby.

"Well I guess it's just you and me now, fella." I could see his face contort into discomfort as he began to suck harder on my finger. "You must be hungry huh?" I said to him just as I pulled my finger away triggering him to become restless.

Laying him down in the living room rug I went into the kitchen and tried to remember the steps Louis and Liam had gone through yesterday to make the bottle. I remembered there were three scoops involved but needed to be reminded by the instructions on the formula box.

Going back into the bathroom where all the baby supplies sat in the empty shower, I brought the bags back out to the kitchen and found what I needed. Trying to be quick with the process since Asher was only starting to get more upset with my lack of company and stomach pains. Once I had the bottle shaken up I went back to pick up Asher and press the nipple of the bottle to his mouth like last night.

"It's okay." I rocked holding the baby with one hand and feeding him with the other. The way he looked at me made me feel all that much more guilty for giving him away tomorrow. I felt like I was justified however and knew that this would be the best option for him. He needed someone who could give him the proper care and put a lot of time into him.

"I'm not leaving you." I whispered seeing that he was falling asleep while gulping down his bottle. His eyes became droopy as the bottle came to its end.

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