I woke up really disoriented. Napasilip ako sa alarm clock ko na kanina pa tumutunog but I didn't mind. Then my alarm through my phone is ringing as well.
Things keep bugging me. Si Carmela, Radicus, si dad, even myself. Those things that happened few months ago and now. Pakiramdam ko, hindi ko nagawang makalaya. Here I am trying to fix everything but look at me, still stuck with it!
I am aware na malelate na ako sa klase but I didn't make an effort to rush. My body doesn't feel good. Right! I feel so lazy. Oh what mondays can really do!
Bago pa ako makababa ng hagdan ay tumunog ang phone ko. It's my bestfriend calling.
"Prim?"
"Where the heck are you?!" She asked.
"Nasa bahay pa. Paalis na rin." I answered.
"Malelate ka na girl! Late ka na nagising? Nag-emote ka kagabi noh? Magkwento ka later ha!" Napangiti ako sa sagot nito.
"Bakit ikaw? Nasaan ka na ba? Don't tell me nasa school ka na, I won't believe you!"
"On the way na po ako!" She answered and I am not convinced kaya di ako nakasagot agad.
" Fine! On the way palang sa banyo!" Biglang sabi nito. I giggled. Oh Prim!
Pagbaba ko sa hagdan ay napahinto ako. I can hear people from the dining. Mukhang sila dad iyon at ang kanyang pamilya. I can hear his laughs with Carmela giggling and Tita Olivia's voice too. They sound like a happy family having breakfast. Hindi ko na dapat pang pinag-iisipan kung sasabay pa ako mag-agahan. I might ruin their moment.
It's been a long time since I heard dad laugh like that. After my confrontation with him kagabi, I realized, maybe I am really giving him a hard time magmula pa noong ipanganak ako. He was torn between making his marriage with mom work and staying with his beloved family. All because of my existence. Now he's bothered why he's seeing me unhappy.
Biglang lumabas si manang mula sa dining kaya naghanda na akong tumakbo knowing how she will pursue me eat breakfast with dad!
"Maya?" Manang called me. Here I am wasn't able to make atleast two steps away!
"Good morning manang! Lalo ka atang gumaganda?" I told her. Napailing naman ito sabay abot ng isang paperbag na may lamang tupperwares.
"Alam kong hindi ka talaga sasabay sa kanilang mag-agahan kahit anong pilit ko kaya ayan hinanda kita ng baon."
"Thank you po manang!" I smiled widely. She smiled wearily.
"Kung napapagod ka na iha, sige, hindi ko na ipipilit na pakisamahan mo sila. Ang sa akin lang naman kasi noon ay para man lang sana sa daddy mo. Pero ngayong nandito na si Carmela, pakiramdam ko lalo ka lang nasasaktan. Mahal ka ng daddy mo pero siguro nga hindi niya iyon maipakita ng lubos. Pero iha, kung napapagod ka na, pwede ka namang sumuko at unahin ang sarili mo. "
My smile slowly faded while looking at manang. Halatang nagpipigil ito ng luha habang inaayos ang hibla ng buhok na nakaharang sa mata ko.
"Alaga kita noon, kaya alam ko at kilala kita. Ikaw iyong klase ng batang kahit nasasaktan na, napakalawak ng pang-unawa mo kaya nagagawa mong positibo ang pananaw mo. Ikaw iyong klase ng bata na panay okay lang ang sagot. Kaya kahit hindi ka magsalita at ilan beses mo pang sabihin na okay ka, hindi ako naniniwala."
"Manang.."
"Osha, hindi na ako magdadrama at alam kong mahuhuli ka sa klase. Naku na bata ka, ngayon ka lang ata tinanghali ng gising?"
I tried my best to hold back my tears. My life has too much drama. I can't put everyone in it. Not at this early morning.
"I just overslept manang. Thank you for this." I answered. Tumango lang ito at tumalikod para bumalik sa loob ng dining.
