It was a rainy afternoon. Nakasandal ako sa glass window habang tinitignan ang pagpatak ng ulan. One week nalang Christmas break na. Nanay Belen didn't allow me to celebrate it with them dahil nga naabisuhan na sila ni dad. Dad is too..too persistent to push me on his family. He can't see that nobody likes me there, well aside from Troy.
I got no choice but to ask mom if I could have Christmas with them. Kung noon siguro ganito akong namamalimos ng atensyon sa kanila, naiiyak na ako. But now, I get used to it. I just need to sigh and the depressing feeling is gone, though not totally. The feeling sucks. Big time.
Well mom's second husband, Tito Brad is nice. Kung ikukumpara sa asawa ni dad na si Tita Olivia. My only problem with Tito Brad is that he always think of me as a threat to my mom's attention. Gaya din ng anak nilang si Britanny. Mas matanda ako sa kanya ng dalawang taon and she is adopted. She doesn't know about it. She thought she has a wonderful family at ako ang sumisira dahil anak ako sa labas. That's a cliche story! Both sides thought the same of me when in fact ako ang totoong anak.
Hindi sumasagot si mom sa phone niya. Paputol-putol ang signal sa loob ng unit ko kaya naisipan kong lumabas at umupo sa tambayan ko. The fire exit. Naupo ako sa hagdan. I dialled her number again hanggang sa may sumagot na.
"Hi mom--"
"What do you need?" I was cut by a young female voice. I am sure si Britanny ito.
Well, we never talked often or should I say, I never get the chance to talk to her dahil nilalayo ako sa kanya nila Tito Brad dahil baka nga masabi ko ang secret nila and I think because Britanny doesn't really like me.
"Is mom there?" I asked. I bet she's rolling her eyes.
"Why?"
"Come on Britanny, she's my mom too. Hindi ba pwedeng mangamusta man lang?" I tried not to sound offensive by saying that her mom is my mom too. You know, people who use to hate you think that you always want to offend them.
"My mom is busy. "She said. I almost sigh. I played with my slippers.
"Kahit saglit lang? Please Britanny. I just need to talk to her." I cross my fingers and silently hoping that this brat has a heart.
"Ano ba kasing kailangan mo? Mom is busy nga kaya nga ako ang sumagot ng phone niya. Do you need allowance? I thought your dad is rich? Pwede ba stop bugging us. Our family is fine without an illegitimate you."
That's it! She just called me illegitimate. I sighed. How should I fit in? Where is my place? Talaga bang ipinanganak ako para lang itapon? My life sucks! I wanna puke.
"A'right. Just tell mom I called." I said. Although I doubt she will tell mom.
"And please tell her--" binabaan niya ako. I have no idea what wrong have I done for me to deserve her treatment towards me. She is such a brat!
I sighed again. Napahiga ako sa sahig dahil sa frustration. Wala naman dumadaan dito. Madalas naman akong tumambay dito at wala pa namang nakakahuli sa akin na nahihiga sa sahig. Nakalaylay ang paa ko sa hagdan. I spread my hands with my phone on my right.
"Dear Santa..I want to have my parents back. I promise to be a good girl. I promise." I murmured. I close my eyes and blew air. When I opened my eyes, I got startled. Hindi ko alam kung tatayo ako o' mananatiling nakahiga.
"So, this is why I saw you walking to this direction?" Radicus asked. He is squatting to lean closer to my face. Just like before bigla akong naconcious. I grasped some words.
"Hi." He said while flashing that killer smile. He is goddamn perfect. I shook my head.
Umayos na ako ng pagkakaupo at siya naman ay tumayo na. His hair is dishiveled. Medyo naniningkit ang mga mata nito dahil mukhang galing sa pagtulog.
