How can this day start so lucky of me! Ramdam ko ang malamig na aura nito sa likuran ko and I am here, wishing three things. First, for me to chew and swallow this effin hotdog that I was about to chew before Carmela came with a surprise. Second, I hope Mela wont recognize me! But I'm hundred percent sure na imposible iyon. Third, that I wont be able to meet his cold stares.
Why am I even assuming that he'll give me cold stares. For the three months, malay ko ba kung maayos na ito. So ako lang pala itong hindi makamove on? Jesus! I should stop reminiscing. Not at this moment that a family reunion is happening behind me.
"I'm fine Rad, see? I am just so excited to see mom, dad, kuya and--"
Shit!
My hands are shaking while reaching for my glass of water. Ilan beses akong napamura dahil sa kaba. I need to chill down. I sighed as I drink water.
"Is this Armaya already?" I heard Mela asked. I heard someone gasped. Probably si Tita Olivia. I didn't hear any words from Radicus anymore. It was like he sudden lost the interest to do so. Pain crawled inside me.
Maingat akong tumayo at dahan-dahang lumingon. Malawak ang ngiti ni Mela sa akin. For what reason dad is smilling too. Troy is looking at me and Tita Olovia seems dislike the attention I'm getting. Ayoko din naman ng ganito! I don't have a choice.
Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawang ngumiti at umiwas ng tingin kay Radicus. Nasa likod lang ito ni Mela at hindi ko parin maiwasang masaktan. He's just near but not as near as Mela to him.
"Hi Mela. Welcome back." I said. Her eyes glowed. Bigla ako nitong niyakap na ikinagulat ko.
"I'm so glad you're here! Look at you. Ang ganda mo ah." She said. Lumingon ito kay Radicus at sa hindi ko maintindihan ay napalingon din ako kay Radicus.
His face is blank. Gone is that Radicus who may be grumpy sometimes but I know his eyes can tell how much he adores me. Ngayon, wala. He's just staring without that mode of interest. Na para bang isang walang kulay na bagay ang tinitignan niya. Ako na ang unang umiwas ng tingin.
I refrain from smilling bitterly. I smiled at ger genuinely.
"We-welcome back Mela. I'm glad you are now here and you're fine and beautiful too." I said. Exchanging pleasantries. I don't know if this is enough to cover the bitterness I am feeling.
Magiliw itong ngumiti. I wonder, kung sa bawat ngiting ibinibigay nito ay may iba siyang naiiisip. Did she know my affair with his boyfriend? I hope hindi nalang. I don't want her hurt. I don't want her to point at Radicus as disloyal. Lalo na't may iniingatang pangako ito sa yumaong ina.
Tita Olivia cleared her throat.
"Maya, I thought you are leaving with your boyfriend. Hindi ka ba late sa usapan ninyo?"
So she now cares? And what did she call Miko, boyfriend? Oh! I get it.She doesn't like seeing me here. With Mela and Radicus around. My feet stumbled. Umatras ako para abutin ang bagpack ko.
"Uh, yes. I'm sorry Mela, may lakad kasi ako ngayon." I apologized to Mela. Isinuot ko na ang bag ko. Naligaw ang tingin ko kay Radicus na matamang nakatingin sa..shit! My tats.
Napadiretso ako ng tayo at pinilit itago ang braso ko. Napansin kong nakakunot na rin ang noo ni Troy sa akin at paminsan ay kay Radicus. Oh no, I know that look.
"May..boyfriend ka na pala?" Mela asked.
Hindi nakatakas sa akin ang saglit na pagdaan ng mata nito kay Radicus. Why? What's with that gesture? I am fully aware na sila na ulit. Does she really need to show me how they understand each others stares?
