We are official. The words just made me tremble! Hindi ako nakatulog kagabi kakaisip sa kanya. Radicus. Radicus. Radicus. What have I done to deserve him? He was like a star that I can't reach before. Not that he's reachable now. I still feel far from him.
Pero aaminin kong nakakaramdam ako ng takot. Thinking how his past relationship with his former girlfriend lasted. It was surreal. Six years isn't a joke. Iyon ang tipo ng relasyon na nagtatagal lang kung matibay ang pundasyon ng pagmamahal. He must have love that girl so much. The attachment is already there.
Kung ako ang magkakaroon ng ganoong katagal na relasyon baka mabaliw ako kung bigla itong matatapos. I don't want such relationship to end like shit.
But what do I know? Wala naman ako sa sitwasyon ni Rad. Hindi ko alam ang ganoong pakiramdam. I don't know what he is exactly feeling right now. I don't have the right to just judge his feelings. Ayoko siyang masaktan dahil lang sa maling panghuhusga ko.
This morning, I woke up with an odd feeling. Nahihilo ako at medyo masakit ang likuran ko. I'd have to stretch just to ease the pain. I did my morning rituals but I want to skip jogging.
I bun my hair and skip breakfast as well. Agad kong dinampot ang cellphone ko para tignan kung may nagtext. I saw several missed calls and messages. Troy called thrice. He messaged me as well reminding me that he'll drop by. I almost forget that!
Radicus called twice. He sent a message too. He's inviting me for a jog. Kanina pa itong 5am. It's already 8 in the morning so he's probably done. I don't know what to reply. Well, sabihin kong late akong nagising? Yeah.
I texted him that. But my mind just want to say more so I typed I love you. Sent. Binitawan ko ang phone ko at nagpunta sa kitchen to make an egg sandwich when I realized what I just sent. Clingy. Great! I ran back to my phone to check if he replied but he did not.
I was chewing my sandwich when the doorbell buzzed. Hinayaan kong nasa bibig lang ang sandwich na kinakain ko habang binubuksan ang pinto. Muntik pang malaglag ito nang si Radicus na mukhang bagong gising lang ang bumungad sa akin. I immediately removed the sandwich in my mouth.
"Hi! Good morning!" Bati ko dito. Kulang nalang ay mag-Thank you for coming sir pa ang linya ko. I am such a weird loser whenever Radicus is near. He's perfect. I am the least perfect type. Fine! I'm aware of it.
He seems amazed by the way he looks at me. Bumaba ang tingin nito hanggang sa paanan ko. I am not wearing slippers. I got black nail polish. I think it's cool? I am wearing my loose pajama shirt and a gray boyshorts.
He bit his lower lip and gazed at my face again. All of my defenses melt when he smiled at me as if he just saw something worth his smile. So I think my nail polish deserves that smile?
"I love you too and even love you more sleepyhead." He said. I just smiled at him and I found the urge to hug him so I did. I felt his arms wrapped around my waist. His lips landed on my forehead.
"That's so sweet Maya." He teased. I pouted. Ayoko naman kasing maunang gumawa ng move! Like give him a kiss or some sort of that gestures. He's my first boyfriend! So ang alam ko lang na gesture ay brotherly or friendly gestures.
"Nagbreakfast ka na?" I asked him.
"Nope."
"Akala ko nagjogging ka?"
"I fell asleep again. Hinihintay kong magreply ka. I think you were still asleep kaya nakatulog ako sa sofa. "
"Sorry. Igagawa nalang kita ng egg sandwich. " I said with a peace sign.
"You are not a morning person, I think?" He asked. Nakatayo lang ito sa gilid ko at nakasandal sa mesa habang minamasdan ang paggawa ko ng sandwich.
