It's been a week. Another week that I have tried my best to ignore the feeling of rejection. That moment when someone just want you to stay out of their life.
Ewan ko ba kung anong meron sa akin at parang walang gustong makasama ako. Nobody wants to stay. Nobody wants to love me. Kahit sarili ko pang pamilya.
I know. It's my fault why I have to suffer this feeling again. Ako naman kasi itong lapit ng lapit. What Radicus told me has left an undying effect on my mind and I think in my heart as well. I felt so broken. Ganito ba nararamdaman ng mga lalaki kapag basted?
"Hoy! Ano na?" Bigla akong nabalik sa reyalidad nang sigawan ako ni Prim. I frowned while staring at her pig tails. Sinumpong na naman ng pagiging bratinella ang isang ito at pinahihirapan ang temporary driver niya na si Kuya Riley.
"Ano nga iyon?" I asked. I am obviously wasn't focusing on her earlier.
"Alam mo ikaw, wala ka na naman sa hulog. Ihulog kaya kita ng tuluyan? Sinabi ko naman kasi sayo na sampahan mo ng kaso--"
I rolled my eyes. Here we go again. I thought I was able to convince her already about my case with Joseph and the rest. I told her not to make it a big deal because I don't want dad to know about this at itong bruha na ito nagpumilit pa noong una, sabihin ba namang siya nalang ang magsasampa ng kaso at sabihin na siya ang kamuntik marape! Mga magulang naman niya ang ilalagay niya ang mag-aalala.
Isa pang nirereklamo ko sa babaeng ito, whenever I'm spacing out she thought I am kinda traumatized dahil sa nangyari. Not knowing I was trying to forget about it.
"Prim, I am not thinking about it. Okay? Move on na."
"Mahirap magmove on sa katarantaduhan ng mga gagong iyon! Naku! Mabuti nalang talaga sinagip ka ni Radicus, mabait naman pala ang isang iyon. I thought he's totally snob."
I found myself silent. Whenever his name is mentioned I can't help but feel remorse. I don't know why I should feel this way. It's not that I have known him since birth! It's not that I have fell for him. Am I?
"Oh saan ka pupunta?" She asked when I started fixing my things.
"Sa library lang. Call me whenever you need me."
"May fitting ka mamaya ha, bukas na yung opening ng intrams.I'm so excited! Buti nalang pumayag kang magmuse. I have a reason to attend that freakin' intrams. "
"Excited ka ba talaga dahil sa akin? O' dahil sa guests bukas? I heard Vaughn and his uncle Mr. Christian Uno Aragon will be there. High class people! God Prim! I can imagine you holding a banner with a Marry me Fortalejo!" I teased her at hindi kaagad maipinta ang mukha nito. I heartily laughed at her epic expression.
"That's so gross! How can you imagine such when I myself can't even think doing it. Laslas." She said. Napailing ako.
"K. Fine. I'll go ahead. I'll drop by at the gym later. Hintayin mo ko doon."
As soon as I passed by the corridor bigla ko na namang naalala ang salitang sinabi sa akin ni Radicus. Goodness! When will those words be digested by me the way it must be! He told me that para umiwas ako. To stop this feeling that has started to build in me.
Am I too hopeless para umasa sa isang vague na pagtingin? I am really not sure if I fell for him. That fast? I mean, ganoon ba ako kakulang sa atensyon?
I shook my head. This will probably last. This is just infatuation. Simple crush. Kung gusto niya akong lumayo, I can. Nagawa ko naman sa loob ng isang linggo.
After our last encounter, hindi ko na ulit siya nakikita kahit pa magkalapit unit lang kami. He has a good timing maybe. Siguro siya itong kuntodo iwas dahil ako, wala naman akong ginawa para mabago ang oras ng pagpasok ko or uwi ko.
