Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Devon(34)

   "You know, looking out the window won't make the days pass any faster." Devon tells me. Startling me out of my thoughts. I turn towards him and smile. He's been a really great friend over the past few weeks. It doesn't feel like I've been here for nearly two months.

"I know, I've always loved watching the leaves change colours." I whisper. smiling at the memories of Monroe taking me to the park, we would always bring whatever food we had in the house. Having ourselves our own little picnic. It was one of the things that I really missed when he left. He allowed me an escape from the monster.

"Still, it's depressing man." Devon jokes. Dropping into the seat beside him.

Since my arrival here, many have come and gone. There would be a party each time somebody got discharged. Yet, Devons time never came. I never questioned why he was still here, since that would be considered rude and insensitive on my part. the curiosity is burning inside of me though. All soldiers handle mental illness in different ways. For me, I buried it under working out, and trying to appear normal. Which is not healthy in the slightest. For Devon, it seems like he covers his sadness with humour. He goes around, trying to brighten everybody else's day, even though he isn't doing so well himself. He's selfless, and that is what is keeping here for so long.

He even said so himself, he was only here for his wife. Just like I'm here for Quincy and myself. We don't want to be a burden to those we love. I think we would prefer to allow them to move on.

The thought of allowing Quincy to move on has crossed my mind. Yet, the selfish part of me quickly dispelled the thought. I couldn't live with myself knowing that he is laying in another mans arms. Laughing at another mans jokes.

"Well, it suits the mood of this place." I mutter. Glancing around the room at the other patients. All of them were sitting alone, focusing on their own tasks. It reminds me of that one scene in Forrest Gump. Yet, we don't have a ping pong table to entertain ourselves with. 

"Hey, it's not that bad. Sure, it's no paradise or anything. But, for us, It's safe. That's all that matters right now. There are men out there that don't have this, they are still fighting for their lives. For our freedom. Not only do we owe it to ourselves to get better, but we also owe it them." He affirms. His eyes holding my own.

He's right. I never thought about the men still out there. I only thought of those in my own life. Mental illness is a sad reality of men like myself. Whether they are rookies, on their first deployment, or on their eighth one.

With scars, physically and mentally, it's hard to move on. The men in this room prove that statement.

"I feel like I'm back home. Helpless. I don't like it." I admit. looking away from the man. he tilts his head.

"Nobody is helpless Walker. We always have an angel looking out for us." He tells me, smiling softly at me. I smile back, allowing myself to believe in the sentiment.

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*Quincy's P.O.*

"Are you finally ready to graduate Quincy?" Avery asks me. Walking into my room. He had already finished getting ready. His hair styled to perfection, and he was dressed in a tailored suit that makes him look really good. If he wasn't like a brother to me I would totally hit on him.

"It couldn't have came faster to be honest. I'm done with this hell hole. You know, in Ireland it was so much harder. Here? Barely learnt anything. It's not like I would need to know anything about American history." I mutter. Tucking my shirt into my slacks.

"I'm glad that you chose that shirt. Makes your green eyes really pop. Gosh, those eyelashes are crazy too. Looking good Q." Kendall says. Entering the room as well. I smile at him brightly.

Glad that he came. He's been a really good friend to me, and I couldn't think of anybody else to invite. My parents told me that they were going to meet me at the school. Having showed up the previous day. I was shocked when they actually showed up. We were never close.

They wanted me to be their perfect son. Which I am not by any means. For them to fly all the way from Ireland was a big deal for them. I was happy that they did though. I do love them, seeing as they are my parents. They can't help that they are bigots.

"Thank you Kendall. I couldn't tame my hair, so I kind of gave up." I sighed. Looking at the mess on top of my head gave me anxiety.

"Don't worry you look great. Are you excited? I remember when I graduated. Derek and I practically ran across the stage." Kendall laughs. Falling onto my bed. He was our ride to the school, seeing as he didn't like the thought of us bussing to our graduation. He's a mother hen through and through.

"I'm not excited for today, I'm excited for what comes after it." I say with a shrug.

"Well i'm proud of you nether the less." Avery says. At that moment Monroe enters the room, looking between all of us.

"Are you guys ready to go? you should get there early just in case." He says. Kendall looks back at him with a small smile. Though you can tell that things between them are still tense. Avery sighs.

"If we must." he jokes. pushing past his cousin. I chuckle and follow him. It's too bad that Avery feels unloved by his family. You could tell that Monroe loves him like he is a brother. Hell, he left work for a few weeks to visit him when he was in the hospital. One doesn't do that for somebody that they don't love.

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"Mum, dad. I've missed you." I say when I find them, standing aside and watching everything silently. My fathers face is expressionless as he takes me in. Even though it's been months since he has seen me last.

"Hey sweetie. you could have done something with your hair. People will be taking photos, you don't want to be remembered with hair like that do you?" my mother nags. Her hand reaching out to fix it but I swat it away with a frown on my lips.

"Mum relax. I tried but it's just being stubborn." I mutter. Looking over to Kendall and Monroe who are conversing with Avery's mother. I motion towards them. "This is Kendall and Monroe. Monroe is Avery's cousin, and Kendall is Monroe's Fiancé."  My parents quickly switch to their fake smiles. I could still see the disdain in their eyes as they look between Monroe and Kendall.

They have never been accepting towards gays. Which is why I have never fully came out to them. I have a suspicion that they are aware, yet they have never said anything so I honestly don't know.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Shaw. " Monroe says with a warm smile. Holding out his hand which neither of them accept. He awkwardly retracts it. wrapping his arm around Kendall tightly.

"So, we should get seated. you boys should go get your gowns. make sure you return them on time." Avery's mother warns. Shooing us away, dispelling the awkward moment.  

Both Avery sigh in relief as we quickly scurry away, not wanting to remain in that kind of atmosphere. I look back worriedly at Kendall but he just smile reassuringly.