Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Fits (27)

Walkers p.o.v

"We don't have to talk. This is your first session and it could be nerve wracking. Just take your time." Dr. Fits says. Leaning back into his chair, an easy smile on his face. I sigh, looking around the room.
It's not like the typical therapist room, instead of it being dark and slightly depressing. It's filled with pastel yellows and oranges. Fresh flowers filling most of the space. Giving it a really airy feels setting me more at ease.
"Thank you. It's just weird to go from not talking to anybody about this, to opening my heart." I explain to him.
"I understand completely Walker. Do you want to start with some easy questions?" He asks me. I nod, knowing that we have to start somewhere.
"Sure, I'm okay with that." I say. Clearing my throat from nerves.
"Where were you born?" He asks. I smile, he wasn't joking when he had said easy.
"Small town in Michigan." I answer. He nods.
"What was your happiest moment there?" I stop to think. I've never really thought about the happy, all my mind has drawn up were the ugly. "I know it's hard, but just take your time."
"Holden, my best friend, decided that he wanted to sneak into his neighbors back yard. There was a pool, and it was summer. We were just going into middle school, so we were hitting our rebellious years I guess. Anyways, there was a fence that stood between his yard and the Golderburgs. I had just hit my growth spurt, he was still a little guy. Even then, we couldn't jump the fence easily. He had to climb onto my shoulders. I could still here his shriek as he fell over the other side. Landing in their rose bush. I had to hear him complain about it the rest of the day." I tell him. Smiling softly at the memory. The neighbors never said anything. Keeping us from embarrassing ourselves anymore than we had.
Dr. Fits laughs softly. "I had a friend just like that, always convincing me into getting into sticky situations." He adds in. Crossing his legs. "Why was it your best memory?"
"I would think that it was because of the feeling. Being free I mean. I was always worried about getting in trouble. I think that's why I was such good friends with Holden, he helped me get out of my little box." I explain to him. Mentally wincing as I remember the punishments I'd get growing up. Just stepping inside the house a minute late earned a good smack or two.
"What is your worst memory there?" He asks me. His tone cautious. I bristle, eyes flashing everywhere but him. Not wanting to think about my mother. The soft smile that felt like it was only meant for me, and the way she hugged me. Protecting me from the world. I clear my throat. Slowly starting to feel suffocated.
"It's hard to pinpoint." I whisper. Even though I knew exactly what moment was the worst. The day that the police came to the door. Hats in their hands, and pity masking their faces. The day that fate took my mom away.
"You don't have to answer if you don't want to. It will get much harder from now on though Walker. This is a hard journey, but it's worth it. I'm sure you are antsy to get home." He tells me. Causing my nerves to calm a little.
Just thinking of home floods my nerves with relaxation. The thought of Kendall's cooking, he says that he's good, but the numerous times that he's burnt something says otherwise. Monroe always says that I should keep my mouth shut. Monroe is happy, and he dealt with the same stuff as me. Why is it taking me a harder time? Why does he get a home and a partner while I get loneliness and the monsters lurking behind my eyes?