Disregard To Danger (ManxMan)

Help me, please!?!? (18)

Getting the job at the gym was a god send. I could finally start to become independent. In a few weeks, I'll be able to move out of my brothers house, and into my own. I want to make it my own. I've never been furniture shopping, and I don't really know what I'm going to need. Luckily, I don't cook that often. I know that Quincy enjoys it, and for that reason I'd buy all the equipment that he could dream of. I want to make him happy in any way that I could. Eventually, I want to be able to spoil him rotten. Seeing as I've never done that to anybody before.
Lately, I could tell that Monroe has been feeling guilty. He's offered to pay my rent, and buy me a car. I know that he has my best interest at heart, yet he needs to understand that all I want is my independence. I've been pushing off talking to him, and I regret that. It's becoming harder and harder to sit him down. With his company kicking off, and expanding I feel bad for taking up his time that he spends at home. That should go towards Kendall. I wish that he was around more though, I could see the sadness in Kendall's eyes when he doesn't make it home to dinner. The way he sighs and wraps up Monroe's food. Placing it in the microwave.
When I was in the military, I witnessed need. Need for their family and loved ones. It hurt them, being away from them. One of my colleagues, Vince, has three kids and a wife. He wouldn't stop talking about them, how Maddie, his eldest lost her first tooth. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to be home.
A similar look shines in Monroe's eyes as soon as he leaves the house.
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"Fall back!" I scream as bombs drop above us. The whiz making my ears ring. Commands are being tossed out everywhere, making it hard for the men to follow them. I watch as one by one, the bombs reach the ground. Causing destruction effortlessly. Debris flies through the air, hitting us and anything in its path. I hear the groans of the injured men. I try to keep track of what's happening, yet I couldn't move my body fast enough. A bomb goes off to my left, causing my ears to pop.
"Get down!" My superior commands over the loud noise. Without thought I drop to the ground. I watch as time slows down. My men don't follow me. Instead they go flying back from the impact of a land mine. I open my mouth to scream for them, but nothing escapes.  I look to my right and almost gag at the sight in front of me. One of my men's head is blown off, leaving behind a burned vessel. You can't tell who it was. The smell alone made you want to pass out. My hand reaches out. As if I could help the dead soldier. When I grab onto his body, the scenery changes and I'm in my old hospital room.
"What's happening?" I scream out. The doctors and nurses around me don't seem to hear me so I try again but louder. Yet once again, I don't even get a sideways glance. I watch as they scream one another.
Talking about loss of blood,and how brain damage could be a risk if they don't stabilize me. What's wrong? Am I dying? There's so much in life that I haven't done yet. I want to beg them to help me. Let me live. I want to plead God to give me a chance. A chance to prove to him that I'm worth it. That I could do good,help others. Yet all I could do is watch as the doctors try to bring me back to life. Please God, let me return home.
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"Walker wake up. Please!" Monroe's voice sounds. Shaking my shoulders. I try to open my eyes but it's too hard. The headache that's causing me to feel like death makes to hard to breath. Let alone open my eyes. I feel tears streaking down my face, making me briefly embarrassed before I remember that this is my brother.
I finally manage to open my eyes. The sight that greets me makes me feel even worse about the trouble that I'm causing. I can't continue to burden them like this. Monroe's eyes are red and puffy from sobbing, Kendall is crying behind him a look of terror in his eyes. God what's wrong with me.