I scrolled through the pictures feeling my heart shatter inside my chest. The farther I scrolled, the more pictures I saw. I couldn't breathe. I felt the tears in my eyes. It's been months so I shouldn't still feel this way but I'm always going to love him.
Justin and I broke up for unknown reasons when he was getting ready to leave for tour. He told me the distance would be too much. 3 years and he threw it away. My heart still hasn't healed and here I am looking at pictures of him with some girl that I've never even heard of. He has his arms wrapped around her the way he would have wrapped them around me in a crowd then he's holding her hand. I miss his hands, the way he would always have one of them touching my back or holding my hand. God I miss him so much.
I clicked the lock button on my phone and curled my knees up to my body. I was determined not to cry over him today. I stood up from the couch and went to the kitchen to get a cold water bottle. I opened the bottle and took a sip and walked up the stairs to my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and saw his tshirt still laying on my dresser where I had left it 3 weeks ago. Up until then, I was still wearing it. It was the only thing I had left of his. I stood up and shoved the shirt in a drawer so I didn't have to look at it anymore. I was turning on the tv when my phone screen lit up beside me.
*Unsaved Number* : Hey can we talk
I knew that number by heart. I had deleted it but I still knew it belonged to him. I texted back;
To Unsaved number; I don't know. What do u want
From Unsaved Number; I miss u.
Before I could even type back a reply, the number popped back up but this time he was calling me.
"Hello?" I answered after letting it ring for a while.
"I miss you Y/n." I heard his voice crack.
"Sofia not treating you right?" I snapped back suddenly gaining an attitude. He broke my heart and now he has the nerve to tell me he misses me?
"Please don't do this. She's nothing." I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I'm coming back home tonight. I want to see you tomorrow. Can I?" I scoffed at how dumb he is.
"You should have seen me 6 damn months ago Justin. You ripped my heart out and took it with you and now you're coming back? Do you think I'm stupid? Go back to Sofia. Cut the act." my voice cracked and I silently cursed at myself for being a wienie.
"Baby, please-" I hung up and ignored the 7 times he tried to call back. I turned my phone off and went to sleep.
---
I woke up the next morning to someone knocking on my door. I checked the time on my phone. 8:30 am. Who the hell is this?
I stumbled down the stairs adjusting the black tank top on my body and the Nike shorts I was wearing. I opened the door and blinked a few times to get used to the sunlight coming through. Once my eyes adjusted I realized the figure standing in my doorway was Justin.
"Uh hi." he stumbled over his words.
"Why are you here?" I said more as a statement than a question.
"I don't know. I just really miss you." my eyes travelled to the very short buzz cut on his head. Last time I saw him in person, his hair was still long and blonde. I studied the clothes he had on his body. A Metallica shirt that was one of my favorites of his when we were together and a pair of shorts made out of sweatpants material. He had on the white adidas I bought him for Christmas.
"Justin, we can't do this. You know Sofia looks like she's really made for you. Go back to her and make her happy. You don't want me anymore." I felt the tears well up in the corners of my eyes and they were gonna fall very soon if I didn't get rid of him.
"No she's not. I don't want to make her happy. I don't care about her. And you and I both know that you think she's hideous Y/n. Please just let me in." he begged giving me the puppy dog eyes that make me weak in the knees even though it's been months since i saw him last.
"Justin, you realize you broke my heart right?" His eyes softened and he gave me the saddest look I had ever seen.
"I-I'm, please y/n..." soon tears were sliding down his soft cheeks.
"Justin I don't know what to say to you. I love you with every ounce of my being but you literally broke me. I can't do that again. I'm still healing from last time." I wiped the tears off of my own cheeks.
"Then believe me when I say I would never hurt you again as long as I love. I love you so much and my life has been hell without you. I'm trying to move on and that's why Sofia is even in the picture but I can't. I keep calling her your name and I haven't even kissed her because I want it to be you. I can't move on ever. You're the one and I'm not giving up so easily." I couldn't stand it anymore, I smashed my body to his and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"Justin? Please don't ever leave me again." I said seriously as we held each other tightly.
"Never in a million years." he assured me and pulled away enough to press his lips to mine.
"That feels so much better." he said smiling after we pulled away.
"I missed you." I looked into his beautiful eyes that were now red from his tears.
"God not as much as I missed you. Can I come in now?" he chuckled realizing we were still standing in the doorway. I laughed and pulled him inside.
"I love you." I said seriously.
"I love you more." and I knew he meant it just from the look in his eyes. I'm so thankful God lead this boy back to me because he really is the one.
